redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin}

Finding the true me

A place to share my oh so very random thoughts, stories, creativity & whatever else I see fit as I travel this road.

Healer

2 years ago. September 10, 2021 at 3:20 AM

I am a healer by nature. When something or someone is broken, I do my best to make it/them better. I am giving & caring to a fault. So much so, that sometimes I do more harm than good without realizing it. Today was one of those days.

A friend was having an extremely hard day...hard last couple of days... which I didn't know until today. And what I thought might help, I believe, actually made matters worse. I sent 24 text messages in 7 hrs time today. They responded to 4 of those 24. I was called out & told it was excessive. They were right. I was at work & it was slow so I spent A LOT of time trying to talk to this friend. And it was mostly nonsense really. Nothing important that couldn't wait. I just thought a distraction might help. I was wrong. So wrong & I feel terrible. Like I said, I was politely called out & I honest to God didn't realize what I had done. I'm hoping tomorrow will be better for my friend & I'll be forgiven. Messages will be at a bare minimum tomorrow & I'll still feel crappy but that's ok. As long as they are better, I'll take all the awful.

Balthezor - Been there, I never know what to say then just say too much & make it worse. I’ve just reverted to core nerd self and went back to playing world of warcraft…

2 years ago

Sir Don(dom male){Not lookin} - Today was a learning process for you
It will make you stronger for your friend.

2 years ago

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin} - It was definitely a learning process. A hard lesson to learn. 😔

2 years ago

Coolguyclayton - Ah man I would have been happy someone was trying to help and care you did the right thing.

2 years ago

Sapio naturally sub(other female) - It sounds like you've already been awakened to this fact, but I too learned the lesson the hard way. Asking someone supportive questions can be so powerful; "How can I best support you right now?" or "How can I be a better friend to you right now?" or "do you have the space for me to share casual text messages with you, with hopes of distracting you?" Rather than assuming we know what they need or what their capacity is we are able to customize how we show up for people at any given point, and uniquely for each of our loved ones that we seek to support. I have employed this since learning the same hard lesson that you articulated above and I've found that simply asking this question /these questions makes them feel so supported and seen. Your friend is coming from a place of hurt and vocalizing their needs and boundaries to you. This tells me they value you. Cheers to solid friendships that allow for mistakes and growth. :) I see this was a week ago, but happened upon it today. I hope you and your friend are in a positive place, mutually and individually. Namasté.

2 years ago

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redhairedcountrygirl​(sub female){Not lookin}

Finding the true me

Healer

redhairedcountrygirl(sub female){Not lookin}