4 years ago. Saturday, August 14, 2021 at 8:52 PM
He tells me to go to my room. Immediately. Drop everything, lay in my bed. I’m depressed and deeply self hating and I lay there feeling some measure of relief to be laying not moving. I grab my thick grey men’s zip up sweatshirt and cuddle it.
“go in your heart now and visualize me handing you your rainbow brite doll
i do it, “love creates me in my perfection..” it doesn’t resonate but I pet the orange stringy hair and the cool porcelain face of the doll. Admire the rainbow shiny costume. Hug it to me along w the sweatshirt.
He puts a tight blindfold on me and fastens my hands behind my back, I’m on my side. I feel a knife against my throat and get scared.