You wont know me

MsDove​(sub female){Eternal Pi} - My Dom always tells me that everything he does is with love. Before he gives me a formal spanking, he makes sure I understand that I haven't done anything wrong; I am not being punished and that he loves me. He also says he is spanking me to remind me who I belong to. At that point, I am soaking wet and in a deeply submissive state. "Yes, Sir."

AidenS - I am sub male for Dom male

But I find your analogy of a man who is patient enough to be with a strong woman who occasionally.. chooses to submit paradoxical

What is the relationship of that patient man to your strong woman in the majority f the time when she chooses not to submit?
Surely he is submissive to you being strong while you demand his patience and self control while you are freely expressing your strong self without inhibition
That makes you the Dom

Because on the occasions when you choose to submit that is by extension you instructing him to dominate you and deciding when he will and when he won’t and probably how he will

So I wound contend that you are not submissive nor are you looking for a dominant man, but one you can use as a puppet to dominate yourself with.

lifeofdom​(dom male) - Pure bdsm poetry.. I enjoyed it.