Everyone has their ideal relationship in their mind, their preferable way in a relationship even in a D/s-ship.
While you couldn’t give what the other party want, it’s difficult for you to ask for what you want..
It goes back to compatability issue, but compatability issue always grey.. especially when it comes to the percentage of 70% ~ 90% meeting your expectation, just left 10% ~ 30% didn’t meet.
At the end, it goes back to what you want at the very beginning before participating.. what’s the one thing which is most important to you and did you get it?
However sometimes human is irrational especially when the thing involve emotion.
That’s one the reason some people prefer to stay away from any relationship and stone in an island. But..
A never ending self-battling.