The thoughts inside my head. Sept.16, 2021
Well, today I find myself focused. As many know, I am not in service at the moment.
That in itself can be taxing on anyone with a slave heart and service driven. UGH is the best statement I can truly use to describe it.
However, today I have learned it is so very important to have quality over quantity. I was challenged to add a couple of sites and get my feet back in the pool so to speak. Well if you know me, I am ALWAYS up for a challenge.
Again jumped in both feet. As I am either all in or all out. No gray area here.. however I am working on learning balance. Which is hard because this is naturally my Life everyday.
With that said, eventually I came to a point of not wanting the next service experience. I became ready for MY SERVICE CONNECTION.
To lay my surrender down to the one deserving of all that it is. All the experience, all the knowledge, AND all the struggles, the hurt, the trauma. Absolutely all that is slave Draconica.
I found I do have a voice, and what I have to say matters. At least to the Master that will find beauty in all I am and all I will ever be.
But to be of service, would that be enough? Hmmm. Upon further self evaluation I found nope.. there was another piece missing. I needed siblings. A slave sister or brother I served along side.
This could come from the fact I have no biological siblings. However I have served in a family type dynamic, it was beautiful. I felt complete and whole.
I know leave it to me to complicate things. Hard enough to find a Dominant of the same mindset, let's add poly to it.
I will not ever give up, what I need in a dynamic to just be of service ever again. It can cause so much damage.
I believe in the beauty of this lifestyle. And I believe, in the beauty which is service. I believe in the beauty which is poly. And most of all I believe in the beauty that is me.
Today, I believe I am worthy and deserving of the dream.
I know that if anything in the lifestyle there is someone (s) for everyone. You have to be patient, and trust the process.
Thanks for reading
The ramblings of my slave mind
slave Draconica