As I laid in bed, everytime I reached for my water I remembered what my task was and how you described it.
I pictured you standing/laying behind me, your chest against my back... my head back nestled in your neck. Your arms around me like a fortress. Disappearing into the safety you afford me. I close my eyes and release the deepest of breaths. My heart is racing and my skin set ablaze having you so near. With my exhale I let go. All my anxiety. The days tension, my hyper vigilance melts away. I listen... imagining I can hear your heart beating, that my breathing mirrors yours.
I feel very emotional. The ability to finally rest... lay down my masculine and dive into my feminine, where I've been longing to be. Feeling safe to do so is something I've desired for along time. The warmest sensation engulfs me. It's peace.
My mind is quiet here. I feel as if I could drift into refreshing sleep. Then I'm overwhelmed with tears... at Your sacrifice to do such an amazing thing for me. I feel secure and cared for which is something I have not had most of my life, even in childhood. I know when I'm in your arms nothing bad can happen to me. That I am valued as the person I am. I am understood and doted upon such that you look upon me in admiration, taking care to tuck my hair from my face behind my ear ever so gently so that I don't wake up.
I hear you whisper "I have you, you are mine" in my ear. I melt. I know I am safe and exactly where I should be.
It's organic and natural. To fall I to your arms. It seems I have found something I searched for so long... something up to this point I was convinced did not exist. I reserve parts of me knowing this will not last forever. A bridge of sorts. I allow hope but not dreaming. I do not think of the future. Only what is immediate. Take things as they come remembering not to fall into emotional mind, stay present in the wise mind. As of this morning, in your arms is where I want to be.