The Chaotic Ramblings of a submissive

Good Morning Lover Faces! 😘 

Lately I have been spending way to much time in my own head. I guess there’s no better way for self reflection.
I spent so much of my life separating my “vanilla” life from my kink life. I am slowly learning they are one in the same, especially if I want to be truly happy.  
I am learning that by not combining the two I am setting myself up for failure. All the work, honestly, sacrifice, dedication, transparency, and the forgiveness it takes to have a successful relationship is the same for the D/s relationship as well. 
I have learned that my fear of asking questions (do not want to step on my Doms toes) is absolutely ludicrous. It has done nothing but lead me down a horrible path of men who claim to be something they are not. No longer will I cower and let someone decide my fate for me. I will ask away and challenge my Dom, if he refuses to answer then he is not worthy of my submission. I am not a doormat, I am a prized possession! 😉 

❤️ Cia 

Hi LoverFaces 💋!

It amazes me the debauchery that one can have in their inbox on a daily basis. Luckily I either don’t indulge or I wait until I can have a civil conversation before I respond. 

I guess I am surprised at the amount of Dominants who think it is their job to tell me “that it is my job and my job alone to please them, and do only as they say.” Ughhhhhhh sorry there but you are poorly mistaken. 
I know it is my Dominants responsibility to shape me & train me. That doesn’t mean I have to go against my own values/beliefs. It is however your job as my Dominant to always guide me in the direction my deepest self wants to go. 
this is not a one sided dynamic and I feel like that is all I come across these days. 

For now, more self reflection & patiently waiting for the right person to come along. 

😘 Cia 

Good Morning LoverFaces! 😘

Recently I have learned that touch & physical intimacy are vital to me… the sexual feelings for me are not enough without the above missing elements. 
*I admit it turned something lovely I had with Sir into something extremely toxic. So let me get real with you guys. I was dismissed for not being able to separate the physical & emotional intimacy from being strictly sexual. I mean it makes sense as it was online long distance but I just couldn’t separate it all. I tried boy oh boy I tried. At the cost of my own emotional turmoil. This is exactly how I know long distance and online is not for me. 

However how does one free themselves from their Sir when it’s over? I still find myself following his orders even though he’s no longer there. I wonder if he would approve of my daily work attire. 

For privacy please call me Cia! Everyone needs a little Moon Goddess in their life. Buckle up and hold on tight because this is the beautiful, ugly chaotic mess of a my journey to finding me and living out my life through submission. ImPlease note that I am not a writer by any means. 

I am new to the BDSM lifestyle but not submission in itself. However I don’t know how to separate the two.
My first experience with a “Dom” (that was a lie) was hellacious and scaring. We live and learn I suppose. 
Then I spent 15 years in an extremely vanilla emotionally abusive relationship. Thanking the heavens above I freed myself from that. Then I stumbled upon here and I find it insanely intense and freeing all at the same time. I thought I found myself a new Dom however I’ve been dismissed. That’s a story for another day. 

May you never forget to dance under the 🌙. 

💋, Cia