Some people have memories reaching back to birth. Others can remember moments from ages two to five and onward. Then there are people like me, where entire stretches of time feel blank, like pages removed from a book before we ever got the chance to read them.
This gap does not only exist in memory. It can appear in development, intellect, emotional growth, confidence, and the way we understand ourselves. In my opinion, much of this comes from our upbringing and the environments we are shaped by. When we first enter the world, we depend completely on the people around us. The way they speak to us, protect us, neglect us, encourage us, or hurt us quietly becomes the blueprint for who we are becoming.
A child learns what safety feels like through other people before they can even define the word themselves. If stability, patience, and care are missing, the mind often shifts from growing into surviving. Some children are allowed to explore, question, and develop naturally, while others spend those same years adapting to unpredictability, fear, or emotional absence.
However the brain is not concrete. It adapts, rewires, and changes constantly, even long after childhood ends. The same mind that learned survival can also learn safety, connection, patience, and peace. Growth does not erase the past, but it can reshape the way the past lives inside of us. Which is what makes growth so important.
Maybe the real question is not “Why did this happen to me?” but “What can I become now that I understand it?” And if the brain was shaped by its environment once before, what could happen if it is finally given one where it feels safe enough to heal?
Feedback is always wanted and appreciated. Feel free to correct, share, or comment