A couple nights ago during our sub chat on zoom, I offered the topic of “As a sub/slave/follower, what do you bring to the table?” I love starting off the new year with this topic and have done so for the last 10 years or so.
I like to make subs aware that they absolutely bring something to the table in a Power Exchange relationship. Many concentrate so much on what the Master/Dom/Leader provides a relationship that they forget their own skills.
Some of the items brought up last night included organization, companionship, obedience, alignment of will, extension of will, a port in the storm, among others.
These skills and offerings should be thought about when negotiating the relationship. And keep in mind that you may not know everything you bring to the table. Ask friends what they see as your strengths. Ask your Leader/Master/Dom what they see in you. And really listen.
Then, embrace what you bring. These are your strengths. This is part of the dance steps involved in your dance that is power exchange. If your Dom is smart, they will use these strengths to the advantage of the relationship.