Often times it is in the darkest shadows one will find shimmering light of hope. One thing I have learned from some of you on here is never give up the search for that ray of light in the shadows no matter how dark it might seem. Hopeless is only hopeless when you give up hope.
You may be struggling with what seems like something that can not be over come. Always remember this there is someone out there who will listen to you and try to help you. The Difference between defeat and victory is the will to keep pushing forwards thought everything thrown at you and coming out on the other side. You might be battered and bruised but the wounds will heal the bruises will fade but you will always know you did it and there was nothing or no one that could stop you.
Along this line a couple of you know a bit of my medical back story. Those who don't I will tell you. I am 51 years old now when I was 26 years old 3 different doctors told me that by the age of 30 I would be crippled in a wheelchair unable to walk because of a birth defect in my back and only way to fix me was put steel rods in to hold me together and had a 50% chance of walking. I felt so much anger and self pity I became mean and bitter. I met a young man in a chat program called Virtual Places it was run by the search engine Excite we called it VP for short. This young man was always there to talk to me no matter what I did or said to him it was like I could not get rid of him. One day his real life sister who I was friends with as well came to me and Thanked me for being a friend to her brother. She told me he was a quadriplegic (Had to google how to spell that one lol) said he typed using a mouth stick and I was his only friend. Turns out he was 16 and crippled before he could even walk. I left that night thinking "How dare you be so mean and nasty and bitter when here is this kid 16 never been able to walk or any of the things I can still do and take for granted." I looked in the mirror of my mind and saw a monster I did not like. I changed that day that child was my light in the Shadows of my own self pity and despair. In 2004 Christmas time I saw another doctor who done X-rays on me he showed me and my now Ex GF and said I do not know how you can walk or how you can stand the pain you live in, because you should be on meds to control the pain (I have learned to focus my mind elsewhere to control it) you should not be able to walk but I know you do and you only have a slight limp. I told him the Mind is a amazing thing when you learn to harness and focus it on a task.
I am still walking and yes I still have the limp it is a bit worse but I am walking 21 years past when was told would be crippled in wheelchair unable to walk. I still have not had the surgery and most likely never will.
If you read this and find yourself in a dark place like I was and you feel there is no one you can talk to know that I will be here to talk to you and be your light in the shadows that seem endless just as that 16 year old boy was for me all them years ago.
I tell this story not for pity or sympathy but to maybe help one person see that all is not lost.
Sincerely
ShadowWolfDancer "SWD"