The Animal's Den

I pride myself on being self-sufficient.  I'm confident in myself and I know what I can and can't do.  I've survived the lowest of lows and come through it on my own.  I know I can handle what life throws my way and make it.  Having said that I'm not so prideful I can't ask for help when I don't know how to do something and I'm wise enough to try and learn when someone does help me.  

At the end of the day though being a successful Dom means acknowledging why you are a Dom.  Acknowledging that insecurity that drives you to crave the validation a partner's submission gives me.  The fact that someone has made the choice to let me indulge in what I enjoy makes me feel alive. The fact that I'm able to let loose and fulfill these urges because I've earned their trust is so gratifying.  

It makes me wonder though....if that's what gives me validation where does it stem from.  The traumas of my youth?  The fallout of choices I've made?  The way I've been treated or treated others in past relationships?  TV influence? 

More importantly, it begs a key question:  Does that make my confidence a facade?  And if so what does that say about me?  Don't get me wrong....I like me and I like who I am.  I'm just indulging in a little bit of introspection I suppose.

I look within myself and wonder why I am.  Am I a product of my own choices or on some misguided path I've been set upon for the humor of some deity with a sense of boredom? 

You look into my soul and see a roiling sea of emotion, an ocean of me that could drown you with its tempestuous intensity, but the reality is it could also be an ensconcing cocoon of safety if you would let it.

I know my mind is a strange place. It’s a midnight stroll through a forest, a barren wasteland filled with rocky crags.  A carnival fun-house...unpredictable and sometimes a little twisted.  It can be frightening what can happen there out of the blue, but most of the time it’s a lot quieter and more peaceful than most places.

I want to hold your soul in my hands, not just your flesh.  There are times I want to possess your body, ravage and defile it in ways that society would call deviant and immoral.  However, in my own way, I’m showing you that you are a goddess whose body is a temple where I can worship and pay homage, a place where I can show you without words what you mean to me, a place not just of divine pleasure, but of sinful delight.  

I've been on the road of self-improvement, and I like who I've become....now I want to walk that road with you.  Longing and loneliness have been roommates in my heart for too long…time for an eviction notice.

You are beautiful but, in the end, I don't care what you look like.  It’s irrelevant.  It’s your soul I want.  You intrigue me, interest me, entice, arouse and excite me.  With you, I could debate social morality vs individual morality one moment, then make crass, low-brow jokes the next.  I could spend the day binding you and be debasing you, a day filled with abuse and pain.  An outsider looking in could almost believe I must hate you.  Until I release you, showing my appreciation for what you gave of yourself by tenderly loving and caressing you.

With you, I could go to a quiet romantic dinner at a small restaurant, and enjoy some drinks, hand holding, soft kisses, and cuddles.  Then throw you down on the bed when we got home and tear off your clothes and ravage your body like an animal pulling your hair, mauling at your flesh, leaving marks with both teeth and fingers.  I would mount you and take you, plowing into you with an animal passion that would leave you quivering. My hand on your throat as I growled “MINE” in your ear as I emptied myself into you.

I'm a bit of everything, or maybe a whole lot of nothing...that is for you to decide.  However, at the end of the day I know with you I could experience a time that was deceptively quiet, that was humble in its appearance yet more than a little wicked beneath the surface. 

Yet there would always be trust, freedom, and security…the safety of closeness, yet nothing to restrict how far you could stretch your angel wings or grow your devil horns as you would never be judged, yet always supported.  Your spirit would never be caged or pinned down.  I’d do my best to put the whole wide world at your feet, to be explored as little or as much as you want.  Isolated if you wish, but never alone.

I would be by your side, never in front or behind.  I’d try to help you discover the good things within you, and explore that which you fear without recrimination, consequence, or judgment from me while we delight in the wicked temptations and find solace in the purity of what we share.

In my heart, the life I wish for us would be best described as a pair of angels walking the devil’s path.

Be my angel and my devil…walk both sides of the road with me.