Youth is wasted on the young and ignorant. My masochistic clarity came after my beauty faded. My submission was wasted on boyfriends who had no idea of what I am or how to satisfy me. I expected sex to be this great thing, life-changing. That didn't happen until I took lashes across my back, butt, and thighs. To be the focus of One person's concentration like that, to know that they were as fully engrossed by me as I was by them was intoxicating. Far better than any high I've ever had.
I've come to the point in my life where I have accepted some things. Those smooth talking square pegs outside the lifestyle will never be able to deliver the attention I crave. Then the Dominants I have met in real life: round, triangle, octagon, but no star pegs. There are doors that are closed forever because it's taking to long to find that person whose gaze for which I'll live. I wish it were easier.
