So my last couple of posts were a bit angry (ok a lot). I feel like I've painted myself with a negative brush. I'm not an angry person. I don't like confrontation, but I won't shy away from it either. I guess that's part of being an alpha female or maybe it's the reaction of a bitch that's been kicked too many times.
I'm not like the majority of people on this planet. I'm intelligent, and I have common sense. Most people I have met have one or the other; a few have both.
I was born female, and on top of it, I was born a submissive and introvert. If I had been born, an extrovert and ballbuster like my sister maybe things would be different, or maybe I'd just be a different kind of miserable.
For those of you following my posts, you know my father was a strict bastard. The only time he touched me was when he was punishing me. Once I reached puberty, spankings were off limits so he called me names and told me I was fat.
So, I didn't have the greatest self esteem growing up. Couple that with a small, private school and there was me, someone who almost never dated, was ecstatic at the first sign of attention, and would do almost anything to please.
Despite all this I graduated a virgin, and would remain so for the majority of my college life. I'm socially stunted, especially around men. I'm awkward. I don't know what to say or behave around ones that I like, and I have no idea between the difference of someone just being nice and someone who's truly interested.
So let's start like this. There's a difference between sex and a relationship. Try being my friend first. Test me, and then test me again because I will test you. I've been looking for love in all the wrong places. Dominants who want submission too fast. Let's see if we can be friends. Let's see if we can fall in love.
So that's what I want, an intelligent, dominant daddy who goes slow, wants love and wants me. In the end a collar for me will be a commitment for life. That's my hope. Please don't dash it.
