I recently read a heartbreaking post by a fellow submissive that I felt compelled to comment on. I had been contemplating posting this all day, and reading her post confirmed that I absolutely could not postpone this one.
We need to talk about the many different hats a partner needs to wear. In a regular relationship, they're, friend, partner, lover, wife/husband, father/mother. In a bsdm relationship,they can also be sadist/masochist, Dom/sub, Dom/slave, daddy or mommy/ little or middle, Master/pet. This list could go on forever with the different and ever-changing dichotomies of the lifestyle.
Now, in a normal relationship there needs to be outright honesty, mutual respect, and unwavering care. In bdsm, there also is a call for absolute trust, a spectacular level of understanding, and free and open communication.
Then you take into account that some of us are not exactly exactly sane. Like they say, nothing fucks like crazy. There are bipolars, depressives, anxieties, ptsds, mod or more commonly known as DID, Add, ADHD. Everyone has challenges in life.
I have been on five or six of these websites at any given time. I've personally met with a few good Doms, but like all good partners they're either taken or gay, sometimes both. Personally, I deal with depression, anxiety, ptsd, and DID. I don't neglect to mention these on most of my profiles.
To be honest, that scared 50% of the wannabes away. The other 45% are pretty routine. They wanna rush everything, meeting, playing, dominating, collaring. They think once they get that precious collar on you or get you to call them Master that they've got you and you can't get away. You can though. All you have to do is walk away.
It is hard, and intimidating. Leaving someone who's detrimental to your health physically, mentally, emotionally is the toughest thing you will ever do. The anger and depression of having a break up will fade. Thier stupid words, arguments, and deaperations will roll off you, sometimes soaking you to the soul, but you will dry out.
I'll leave this post to what one true Dominant said to me after we corresponded, met, and exchanged kink lists. We sat across from each other and had a frank conversation. I'm a lot of work. He was a busy man. He told me that I deserve someone who can take care of me the way I need to be taken care of. You should expect and settle for nothing less. He thought about it for a long time amd then told me he couldn't in good conscience take me on. HE COULDN'T COMMIT TO THE OBLIGATION. A true Dominant will tell you the truth.
So my sisters in pain. Wait for the one who will tell you the truth. Be steadfast because he or she will come. They are out there waiting just as patiently for you.
Much Love💗💗💗💗💗💗