Total power exchange; I've been thinking about it a lot the past couple days. I've been contemplating how long until it would drive me completely bonkers?
Would I still be able to DnD? Would Dominus allow me to leave once a week to play, or would everything in my life now be service? Do I want a life where I get told when I can smoke or even if I could smoke? Or worse the bathroom. Let's face it sometimes you just got to go.
Is that something you'd hash out in a contract, which is something really squicked me out when I first heard of them. Why would anyone need a contract?
Dominus says; I do it. What more would I ever need to know? Then I remembered that people populate the planet and that 85% of the are stupid. Of course, I hear you saying to yourself, well I won't fall for a stupid one or a selfish one.
How are you to know what He means when he says every night I'll take my pleasure from your mouth or your ass. Does that mean he will care nothing for my pleasure or is that implied that he would satisfy me as well. How do you know?
I know I love the ritual. I love knowing exactly what is expected of me, but I want to honestly know what he's going to bring to the relationship. Am I wrong to be thinking this way? How do I know I'll be any good at it? How do you know if you would even fit in with His world. What if you didn't?
Will He quiet this self doubt inside me? Will he answer all the questions I have?