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CapnRick​(dom male)Verified Account

Longer-Term D/s Considerations

Things unseen often affect relationships. This is a (perhaps infrequent) chance to look at some of them through the lens of a decade or more of online experiences with a variety of submissive partners.
7 years ago. Tuesday, July 31, 2018 at 2:07 PM

I've recently had my eyes opened by a most persecptive sub on the subject of 'ownership'.   I suspect most of us Doms  like "having" our subs.....But is 'having' the same as 'owning'?  And what exactly does 'owning a sub' mean?

 

There is a subset of the D/s community that believes in drawing up and signing contracts, which can be elaborate and official looking, even if they have no legal standing at all.  I suppose there is comfort for both parties in such an effort, but that is not my world.

 

Nor does "owned" mean 'exclusive',  as many here are married and not to their D/s partners.  And Doms are notorious for wandering eyes, or having more than one sub at a time.  Subs have also been known to keep an eye out for other experiences, too.  So I have little confidence that "owned"  often means 'permanent' or 'exclusive', though in some cases that is the case.

 

So the questiona rises,  What do we mean by the profile tags of  "taken" or "owned"  or "protected"?   Notice I did not include "Collared", since most commonly 'being collared'is in connection with a scene.  The Dom and the sub attach the sub's collar to tell both that they are in scene, that the sub will obey the Sir, within their agreed limits, until the scene ends.  So collaring is a scene specific label.  Most subs do not wear clearly submissive collars of steel or leather, with D-rings or studs or whatever, out to their day jobs.  They are not 'in scene'.

 

But it all gets fuzzier with this word "owned".   The tutorial I have been led into (for my own good, I think)  has led me to a  clearer concept, at least clearer for me.  

 

"Owned" simply means "Cherished".  For me is is not about possession,  it is an endearment.

 

I'd be delighted to hear your differing takes on this  common, but perhaps ill-defined concept.

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