Sometimes I think the Gods and Goddesses of fate grow weary of sending me signs that I just don’t see.
“Be patient”. I’m impulsive.
”Be still”. I run.
I started this chapter of my life a mere 5 years ago. I lived a vanilla life until I turned 40. Until I had the courage and ability to make a commitment to myself to finally live my life for me. I’ve had all the emotions during this journey . Good or bad, I’ve learned from all my experiences. I’ve met and spoken with some interesting people too.
Somewhere along the way I lost myself. No Dom or Master or anyone really to keep me grounded, it was bound to happen I suppose. I’ve been beaten down but got back up each and every time.
Be open, honest and transparent. I can give this but getting it back in return, not so easy. I understand now that not all were deceitful. Some simply did not know who they truly were or what they secretly desired. Eventually it comes out, some sooner than later, but the truth always appears. That’s when everything starts to crumble and fall to pieces. The person I met and got to know is now someone new. Lately, those recent discoveries haven’t ended too well for me. I fear they may have all finally taken their toll on me. Too tired to bother anymore.
“Be patient. Be still”. Yes, I think I hear you now.