As the rain falls, there is a feeling that overcomes; an intense longing, slowly growing as the drop races down the window.
As the clouds lazily drift across the sky; ice cold breeze like deaths breath on your neck. Not even the birds sing on this dreary day.
This moment; small, miniscule, and lonely, is just as enlightening. Father time must have a sense of humor for he knows how to laugh at my pain.
The greyscale colors melding into black. I grow cold from the effort. The constant trials and tribulations, when will I rest?
It hurts to breathe; the pain brings tears to my eyes and I thank the heavens for its cover, hiding the tears the fall from my cheeks.
In that long, slow moment, as the tears run down my face, I can feel them approaching; Like rabid dogs in the shadows, their snarls, their hunger is more then I can bare. My misery like ambrosia to them.
Thats small candle flame is there always; in the background is hovers. The more I focus on it, the more of its warmth I can feel. Replacing the longing with much needed content.
This flame, though far away is always so bright. I walk, run, trip and fall, desperately reaching out; save me.
On thoes days, when I have fallen, it comes to me. So intense it hurts my dark adapted eyes, blinding me to all the shadows at the edge of my view.
That flame is my Master; He reminds me my journey isn't done yet. This is not where I stop. And as I reach out to touch that brilliant heat it moves away.
"Master!," I gasp,"Why do you back away so?" Distraught I inquire.
"To remind you that you are strong and don't need my help. To tell you that your journey isn't over. I am here to guide you, soon you will be strong enough to touch me. For now you must keep moving."
Strength; he is the embodiment of this. Serene and calm he shows me the way. He is power, He is intensity. He is everything I want to be shielded underneath.
So I must look through the tears, through the feeling of loneliness and keep going. For when I finally reach that flame, my Master, perhaps then I will be able to bare its inferno. For now, it is too intense, I would be consumed.
Someday...I will reach him. Someday I will be able to handle Him in His entirety.
For now, I will continue to walk, run, trip and fall, desperately trying to reach that flame; My Master.
-Pandaish
