Let's talk about autonomy; a sense of self beyond who you are to others. A single flower in a meadow of wild blossoms.
Most don't know, as for myself I also didn't know until it was set in stone, I am creating a life. Once a single flame on the mantle now a fire in the hearth I am a catalyst of a new soul.
The journey has be rough like a cats tongue, too short and sweet to ever actually commit to memory, I already morn the loss of movement within me. The flutter of little wings against my spine.
Behind the sense of wholeness this new experience has filled me with the awareness of the incoming loss of autonomy. A single feather on the pheasants tail, part of a beautiful mural to help bring balance to the birds flight.
Will I still be me when this being leaves my body and becomes a whole themselves? Or will I loose myself; my individuality that makes me aquamarine in a sea of green.
Will my collar still have meaning? Or will I become just another single who has blended into the crowd contributing to the economy of this world.
I have decided that regardless of how I have grown and changed in these last 9 months, how my heart has grown bigger and will soon have an extention outside my own body in the form of separate sweet small star; I will remain me.
I will remain a soul who shines with their own light and helps reveal the way for others whom come into my life and I will stay a whole person. A little. A slave. I will always be who I was and who I am; only now I see my love in a physical form that will smile at me in the purest sense.
And I am so excited to meet him in 2 more weeks. He will be here, outside my body and within my arms.
And I will always and forever be me.
-Pandaish