After getting her mug of latte from the cashier, Silvia turned and walked away from the counter. She came almost to the center of the seating area, but not close to any of the tables. She looked around at her fellow customer. Seeing young couples talking in close whispers and groups of people in meetings with their laptops open probably discussing sales and people of various genders reading actual books while sipping from their own mugs, Silvia wondered if they all knew what was going on around them.
Silvia felt like a ghost among these people. Not that she felt dead, even on the inside. Oh no, she wanted to live!
Just not in their world. She needed a world of her own. And someone to guide her there.
So where was he, she almost screamed in her mind. Again she closed her eyes and realized she was almost hyperventilating. To help slow things down, Silvia sipped her coffee and looked for a place to sit. Even if he was there already, she needed some time to collect herself. Picking a booth in a corner, she sat down so she could face the room. That way she could see him when he walked in.
Setting her mug on the table, it was hotter than she liked anyway, Silvia got out her phone to look at his text messages again. Over 100 the past couple of months. Her sending question after question after question and him always replying with answers. Sometimes elaborate, others very short and distinct. But always an answer, although not always what she wanted to hear (or read as the case may be).
Silvia looked up from her phone and thought about the last time she was in this coffeeshop. Sarah brought her here to pass along another set of books, more educational than than novel this time (which reminded her of the soaked book, so she picked up her phone to go to Amazon and replace it). Silvia was giddy about all she had read and she could tell Sarah was slightly amused by it all. They sat and drank coffee while Silvia recited things she found in Sarah's books. For Silvia, it was like the sun came out of a week of Gotham City rain!
"I can't believe people really do these kinds of things!", Silvia almost giggled. Looking away, Sarah picked up her coffee but didn't drink it. Just holding it in her hands, she ran her fingers over the mug like she was trying to protect the mug from losing its warmth. Instead of drinking, Sarah set the mug back on the table top and took Silvia's hands in her own. "Honey," Sarah started, "Are you sure you are wanting to take this next step? Books and stories are one thing, but this is real world. It isn't just fun and games".
Silvia gripped Sarah's hands back, pulling them toward her like she was trying to save herself from drowning. "Sarah! I want this! I need this! I need to feel something again!" Silvia pleaded. Sarah sadly nodded and then patted Silvia's hands. Letting go, she picked up Silvia's phone and began to access it. After a few minutes, she locked the phone again and slid it back across the table to Silvia.
"I've put a man's name in your contact list. He is someone I trust. Someone I have......worked with in the past. He knows what he is doing and he specializes in new people coming into the lifestyle." Sarah got up from the table and put her coat on. Leaning down to meet Silvia face to face, Sarah looked her in the eye and said "If you decide to do this, do not fool with him. He will not take it well". She then straightened up and turned to go.
Silva sat there in wide eyed wonder, shocked by Sarah's words and actions. "But Sarah," Silvia stammered "What is his name?"
"Matt. His name is Matt. Do only your best for him, Silvia. Only your very best."