"Silvia, I need you to be here with me right now."
Matt's words brought Silvia out of her reverry! Here she was thinking about her past with Him when He was right here in front of her! Fuck, Silvia though, I'm failing Him already.
Her eyes focused back on Matt. He was leaning forward with His hand across the table, palm up. Like a small child who knows they have done wrong, Silvia slowly placed her hand in His. Matt very gently closed his fingers around the back of hand. Slightly tugging her toward Him, Matt looked Silvia in the eyes and said "What I am about to say is very important. Probably the most important thing I will ever say to you. So pay close attention."
Releasing her hand, Matt once again sat back in the chair. But He didn't say anything. He pursed his lips and then again got that half smile. Silvia sat there and watched him not say anything. Nothing. Maybe His breathing got a little deeper, but still nothing. A single thought ran laps around Silvia's brain: He's going to turn me down! He's going to turn me down! He's going to turn me down! He's going to turn me down! He's going to turn me down!
Matt set his cup on the table and began to speak:
"Silvia, within the lifestyle, there are many, many different philosophies. When I started this, a good number of years ago, there was really only one. But like all life, it has gone through and evolution and split off and gone off in many directions. However, I have never changed the way I do things. I am hard, and strict and, can be cruel. But I am also loving, caring and uplifting. I put people through sometimes incredible pain and humiliation. I make them tired and will keep them awake. I lock them in cages overnight and shower them in cold water. "
Matt picked up his cup and took another sip. Silvia noticed her mouth was open. With a slight clack of the jaw, she wondered where all this was going. Resuming His posture, He continued:
"But I also give marvelous massages and love drying people off after a shower. One of my fetishes is brushing hair. I try to cherish those that work under me. To those outside the lifestyle, it is a very strange dichotomy. Not everyone understands it and sometimes, not even those within the lifestyle understand it. And yet there it is."
"Silvia, what I am, in my view, is a sculptor. When I look at someone, I see them as a lump of clay. A chunk of stone. I try to look within and see if I can picture a piece of art that wants to break out. To be born. But that art needs someone to midwife the birth. Someone to bring it forth. The problem is not all art is ready to be born." Matt again paused to pick up his coffee again.
Silvia trembled. She wasn't sure whether it was from the constant look of His eyes or the frustration of His prolonging this. She knew He was going to turn her down. The tears again began to well in her eyes. Her head dropped to face the table, so Matt could not see the rain begin to fall. "What about me, Sir? Where do I fit?"
Matt leaned forward, cupped her chin in His hand and lifted her head up. "My dear," He told her, " you fit where you need to belong. But you...need to decide where you belong." Silvia opened her mouth to say something but Matt's hand flashed from her chin to her lips. She was shocked on how fast he moved and how gentle the touch was. First all four fingers covered her mouth and then just the index. "No." He said. " No words, no sound. "
Matt scottered his chair back and stood up. Gathering his cane with one hand, He pointed to the yellow package with the other. "Take that with you and when you get home, open it. Then you will decide where you belong. You will know what to do." And with that, Matt turned around and headed for the door. Silvia sat there in shock, not knowing what to do or what to feel. She turned her head to watch Him walk through the coffeeshop door and then, like the morning dew, he was gone.
