I used to be an Orthodox Jew and folks send me messages every day asking about why I left. People assume that I was stifled by a cabal of abusive rabbis and forced to be barefoot and pregnant in a loveless marriage. People say that I was deprived of an education, brainwashed and trapped by a gang of amish dudes dressed like Run DMC.
Nope. It wasn't because Ye got pissed at some of us either, if that's what you were thinking.
Of course I'm brainwashed. We are all brainwashed by something. But I left because it was no longer practical for me specifically. That's on me. It was more like falling off a diet because I was working overtime too much. That is another story for another time. Today's blog is the beginning of a new series on Judaism. Specifically, aspects of sex, femininity and Hasidism and how that got me here. There are a lot of Judaisms and a lot of ways to be feminine, just like when I wrote there are a lot of Brooklyns the other day. They are all fine by me. I'm passing on ideas that I still use and that shape who I am today, because many of you like to hop in my DMs and get it wrong. It's going to be a long series because we've been at this for awhile and it's going to jump around a lot because thats how I communicate. Some of it may be unintentionally inaccurate. My seforim are in storage. Don't worry, I'll still write thirsty posts about Tyler and Eminem and keep the dumb dad jokes flowing. And if I finally get laid or find a real Dom and they tell me to, I'll let y'all know. If I order a mail order husband from Israel, you will be the first to know.
In the Hasidic world, we live a life apart. We separate holy days from profane, feminine from masculine, outside from inside. G-d even separated aspects of Himself when he made the physical world. The Kabbalah teaches us that when G-d created the world, he began the process by contracting his Or Ein Sof (infinite light) to make a finite space for a new creative light to beam (Kav). This space was a vacuum that gave rise to the Makom, or dwelling space for free will where the sacred and profane can live. This physical universe (profane or secular) conceals the spiritual elements of G-dliness, originally placed in vessels or Kelim, that shattered from the power of the Or Ein Sof and dispersed shards of broken vessels that we are tasked to gather in our exile and repair (Tikkun).
Tikkun, or repair, refers to the human mission to reclaim and elevate these sparks. One way that jews do this is by building our own dwelling spaces for Hashem (G-d) in the lower worlds. Traditional judaism teaches that the most important dwelling space we can create is the home. The main way to know that a hasidic or orthodox jew likes you is that they invite you to their homes, especially for a holiday meal. Women run these homes and we demand and receive respect from all. Synagogues are secondary and sorta whatever. Synagogues (or shuls), are outside. Our homes are inside. L'havdil (an expression jews use to separate even in conversation), my sexuality creates by receiving, nurturing and elevating that masculine energy. I'm a vessel. But I'm also perfect as is and without a man. I'm not a woman because I fuck or raise kids.
The Kabbalah teaches that women are on a higher spiritual plane than men. That's why I don't chase. That's why I don't want to run shit around here or dominate anything. I get comfortable. If you protect, provide and support this vessel, I'll nurture and elevate you. I'll help you make you make yourself whole. Not by building with you and your ego, I'm not Barbara the Builder. This vessel has businesses that are run quietly from home when necessary. This vessel loves La Perla lingerie and cooks Moroccan food. I make the right house a home and I fortify you spiritually, physically and emotionally. So you can go out and get it. Of course this is all more complicated. I gave you rudimentary Kabbalah on one foot in 30 minutes on a BDSM website. Now I'm going to give you the Hillel cop out. One foot is not enough, go learn on your own if you want. I'd start by reading Eishet Chayil. You have google.
I'm saving this post in case you assholes delete it btw or the anti-semites show up. 30 Minutes is like 200 dollars of my time and time is zman mfs. Love you!
