I had a hard time for a long time before I started to mentally process my feelings and I would like to share some of my thoughts in the hope that someone else may be helped. Sexual fetishes can be a source of confusion and shame for many people. We live in a society that often stigmatizes and pathologizes sexual desires that fall outside of the norm. This can make it difficult for individuals who have a fetish to come to terms with it, accept it, and incorporate it into their sexual identity. However, it is possible to learn to understand and embrace your fetish, and to find ways to integrate it into your sexual experiences in a healthy and fulfilling way.
Firstly, it is important to understand that having a fetish is not uncommon. While some fetishes are more common than others, research suggests that a significant proportion of the population has at least one fetish. In fact, many people who do not have a diagnosed fetish may have specific sexual preferences or kinks that they enjoy. This means that you are not alone in having a fetish, and that it is not inherently abnormal or deviant.
Secondly, it is important to recognize that fetishes can develop for a variety of reasons, and that they are not necessarily indicative of a deeper psychological issue. Some people develop a fetish in response to a specific experience or association in their past, while others may simply find a particular sensation or object arousing. Regardless of the reason for your fetish, it is important to recognize that it does not define you as a person, and that it does not necessarily reflect anything about your character or identity.
Thirdly, it is important to distinguish between healthy and unhealthy expressions of a fetish. While it is perfectly valid and normal to have a fetish, it is important to ensure that it does not harm yourself or others. If your fetish involves non-consensual or illegal behavior, or if it interferes with your ability to function in your daily life, it may be worth seeking the guidance of a mental health professional. However, if your fetish is consensual and does not cause harm to yourself or others, there is no reason to feel ashamed or guilty about it.
One of the most challenging aspects of coming to terms with a fetish is often disclosing it to a partner. Many people fear that their fetish will be met with rejection or disgust, and so may hide it or try to suppress it. However, it is important to remember that honesty and communication are key to a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship. If you feel comfortable enough with your partner, it may be worth broaching the subject in a gentle and non-judgmental way. You may be pleasantly surprised by their reaction, and they may even be open to exploring your fetish with you.
Alternatively, if you are not yet comfortable disclosing your fetish to a partner, there are other ways to explore and express it. Many people find that engaging with erotic literature, artwork, or pornography that features their fetish can be a safe and satisfying way to explore their desires. Others may find that engaging in solo play, such as masturbation or fantasizing, can help them to better understand and integrate their fetish into their sexual identity.
Ultimately, the key to coming to terms with a fetish is self-acceptance and self-compassion. It is important to recognize that you are not alone, that your fetish is a valid part of your sexual identity, and that it is possible to explore and express it in healthy and fulfilling ways. It may take time, patience, and experimentation to find what works best for you, but with the right mindset and approach, it is possible to enjoy a rich and fulfilling sexual life, fetish and all.