8/22/2023
As I have grown in age, so have I grown in wisdom.
The cruelty I have seen at the hands of others, as well as the evil my own hands have created has impacted my soul in a very visceral way.
I used to run fiercely away from anything that resembled conflict, turmoil, or drama. Though, curiously at the time, I always seemed to find myself embroiled in each. Especially since all I have ever sought was a deep abiding inner peace that I KNEW existed because I had experienced it. Yet, it seemed, every interaction I had upon finding that peace only served to pull me away from it.
Today, I see the point of those experiences, while varied, was to teach me how to reside in that peace and not move from it. To not allow others to dissuade or convince me what they offered was richer than my own center and focus.
Someone I consider a friend wrote a blog about the price of this type of freedom. The type that comes at the end of a long journey filled with scars, bruises, lumps, and well intentions. The kind of freedom found when the hopes we have bound up in our youth or in others has been betrayed by age and reality.
A freedom that truly finds comfort in the peace of ones soul. Where you see yourself as you truly are, with all the lumps and well meaning choices gone awry. And you can breathe......a deep sigh of peace with ones self.
And it is not without regret.
Or shame in moments.
Or guilt for decisions made in ignorance or fear.
Because those are a part of the journey. We do not get to summarily discount them, lest we lose the lessons therein.
It also, does not shift the pain from creeping into moments of that peace.
For ME, I see that as necessary. Peace is found through the war that has been hard fought. Not inspite of it, rather, often, because of that war we find the value in peace robust and satisfying.
As a Sadist I have this unique lens of accepting pain as inevitable. Life simply is going to bring it to you. Age is a fact no one can deny. If you are blessed you will see a rich golden age of seniority. But it will not feel as such a blessing at times. The decay of your physical form will be an ever increasing piece to navigate. Let alone the years of loss, heartbreak, victories no longer present, regrets unable to be remedied.
In my lens, still a price for our peace.
A pain filled scene emulates this truth.
Consider it from the bottoms perspective.....
Bound
Immobilized
Under control
Unable to do anything except receive what another chooses to bring our way.
It could be pain.
It could be pleasure.
When the first blow strikes it knocks the wind out of you. After a time you get into a rhythm with it and find a space to simply accept and lean into it. And the more you mentally resist, the worse that experience is. When we are able to receive it as the lesson to our peace (subspace) however, it becomes magical.
I often think submissives are more emotional masochists than they realize!
The reward for surrender is peace.
Turning off the brain and just allowing what is, to be.
THIS is why I believe dominants MUST understand how to surrender to what they cannot control in life. Otherwise, we would woefully lack the information on how to support a submissive trying desperately to find their center. Their focus. Their purpose. Their peace.
So, I agree with my friend.
Freedom comes at a high cost. When we have battled the demons and found a stalemate.
That is also just the beginning.
The initial salvo.
The beginning blow.
How we continually chose to navigate that battle determines our relationship with ourselves, others, and the peace or lack thereof we find.
Because there is hope. Not in external forces to liberate us. But in a future no longer robbed of peace as we now actually find we have a choice we hither to did not.
The informed choice to choose......
I hope you find
your peace today.
Namaste
Drago and Amethyst