In my time of exploring the wonderful erotic world of BDSM and many of its various different nooks and cranies that the majority have not divulged, I have found that two words are the absolute most important for any interaction or scene or ongoing dynamic when jumping into the figurative deep end of the pool. What are those two most important words you ask?
INFORMED CONSENT!!
Some on here I'm certain are on the new side of things and are unfamiliar with what such a term entails. Informed consent is not just simply getting consent for an event or scenario or scene with a loose set of guidelines and possibilities of what might happen. Informed consent is the detailed discussion of any and all aspects that are planned to occur during said even and the full and unquestioning understanding of all parties involved as to what is expected.
Everyone has been informed, everyone fully understand, and everyone fully agrees in a non altered state, i.e intoxicated or high or in an altered mental state such as sub drop or in sub space. Then once that has all happened and you have discussed the safety aspects and expectations of what you are doing, then AND ONLY THEN, do you proceed forward with the event.
Practicing informed consent should be standard procedure for anyone and everyone involved in play, especially when doing into the edgy and fringe ends of the spectrum. You must always remember and be prepared understanding that you do not know what you do not know. No one has zero limits. Everyone has limits. So you need to know what you are going to do if you are in a scene and something unexpected happens, a new limit is discovered and your partner has an intense adverse emotional or physical reaction. What are you going to do when something goes wrong?
If you haven't asked yourself these questions in any level of play or dynamic and are not actively implementing these sorts of measures in your activities, you really need to take a look at yourself and ask if you should really be here and doing what you are doing. Take that hard look now before you injure someone or ruin someone's experience to the point they never come back.
Informed consent. Understanding. And preparation for the unexpected if something goes in a way it wasn't planned.
It's really not that hard.
