What is the scariest thing in the world for a lot of people in this lifestyle?
If you think about it, many people in the lifestyle have spent years searching for their perfect partner. Some have been looking for years and are still looking. After looking for such a long time for someone that fits, you get very used to looking and longing and wishing and hoping. It almost defines you in part. The process of searching is not just something that you are doing, it's become part of who you are, part of your identity.
So what is the scariest thing in the world for someone like that? Actually finding someone that fits them and is what they have been looking for.
Initial excitement and happiness over finding someone turns into anxiety and trepidation about endless possibilities that will almost undoubtedly end in heartbreak and disaster. Becoming emotionally connected and attached to one single individual, that through experience we have learned will almost always end in failure and pain. The what ifs, the maybes, and the well this happened last times, are all there to ruin the good thing once you have finally found it. The stress of the negative possibilities causes strife and difficulty, and ultimately you withdraw and eventually push away.
The scariest thing is finding what you want, and then screwing it up somehow. The problem is that this fear of screwing it up is often the reason that it gets screwed up in the first place. Once you spend so long looking, finding is scary.