Tonight I found myself getting up at 6pm to get ready for my 3rd shift duties. I sighed and grumbled a bit as most everyone does, but my mind had echoes of the past running through it. The sound of distant laughter and little feet echoed in the silence of my empty home. I sighed heavily at this. It was not how I wanted to begin my day. So me being me, I turned on my blue tooth speaker and let music from the oldies blare through my house. Instantly those echoes seemed to fade and a light joy once again entered my heart.
I laughed and danced around the kitchen , arcadia right beside me eager and ready to join in as she jumped up and down. Together we created our own found memories of laughter and joy to fill the house. Of course she was rewarded with her own plate of food, after it was all said and done, and I took the time to bask in the joy of the moment. As I slowed down to pack my meal for work I took time to think about the dreams and thoughts that had brought echoes of the past. It was true my house was utterly empty. It had furniture and nick knacks, much like any woman's house, but what had caused the stir? Probably the pictures of my boys still hanging on the walls around me. I of course stubborn as a mule will probably never take them down. Happy memories are better than no memories at all. I smiled realizing that was all it was.
A ache of the past, that I had learned to move forward with. Sometimes in life, when echoes of the past come calling we have to stop , and change the pace to something we can roll with. Whether its dancing around your kitchen to oldies, with your best friend who is a fur baby, or taking time to meditate and walk your small but beautiful garden. Those little moments matter. Its what brings us back to the present and away from the pain. Its how we stop living in the past and begin living in the present.
It is only natural that we sometimes revisit the past. After all we did learn valuable lessons from it, and create happy memories with it. That doesn't mean we linger there. Let those memories come, and then let them go. Remember to breathe and stay grounded in the present. Depression can often stem from thoughts of the past, by doing nothing we stay in that state of mind. Its up to ourselves to choose happiness. I think perhaps that is why self care and self love are so important. I can hate myself or I can love myself. Its a choice every time. Nothing is ever truly locked within us.
To all my friends in this world, take time to breathe and do something you love, never stay in the past, sometimes there can only be sorrow and heartache there. Instead embrace yourself, and learn to slowly open up. Self love and self care are no simple journey. They take time, patience, and understanding. Yes, you made choices, yes you made mistakes, but learning to forgive yourself is so important in those moments. Own it, and then let it go, and remember the lessons you took away from it. Then do something spontaneous that will have you laughing, and going back to the you, you once were. Life is only bad when we let it run us over. We are in control in this life, and while we can't change fate , we can change our destinies to suit our purposes and needs. Much love my friends.
SomeonesSoulmate
