The Culture that has been here all the time

I had a dream last night that our family decided to reconnect and help me care for my wife.

In the dream, I also had numerous friends volunteer to help.

At the end of the dream, a woman friend gave me a big hug and kiss and said, "I love you."

At that moment, my Cat Sunny Day let me know it was time to get up and fill his food bowl.

PS. Our dog now stays with me one night and with my wife the next, and so on—equal opportunity love.

I have been through the mill trying to get help for myself and caring for my wife through every source I can think of, and I have come up empty-handed. The new healthcare facility, located one and a half miles away, is convenient, and the staff are fine, but this system, like all the previous ones, has not found a way to provide help in my home, allowing me to care for my wife.

I can pay $40/hour, but I can not do that for long.

I am a veteran, eight years older than my wife. I can get help, but at 77, I am still able to live independently, take care of the house and home, and my wife. The small IRAs we have, less than $20,000, keep us unqualified for supplemental help. I am trying to keep as much of it as I can for emergencies.

She is either in a wheelchair or on the sofa bed. I need to feed her now, or she will let the dog eat the food.

Some people do not understand how I can claim to be lonely. ADA prevents my wife from having meaningful interaction with me. 

The most upsetting thing people have asked me is, "So what do you do for fun?" I am polite and keep the profane response in my mind - give a sheepish grin and change the subject.

Why Don't I End it All? The answer is I am in the habit of going on living without any joy because it doesn't matter.

My wife descends a little more each day into oblivion because of he dying brain, but I can not give up on her because I love her.

This is not the reason I continue, however. I think the reason I continue to live in horrible, dismal mental and emotional circumstances is because I don't know any better. It's as if I must enjoy hitting my head with a hammer, because perhaps one day I will stop and it will feel good, LOL.

The original movie Frankenstein monster, in the scene where he says "Friend good," is the kind of void I live in each day. Maybe the reason I have no social life (used loosely) is because caring for my wife has made me into a monster of some kind. Therefore, no one wants anything to do with me.

Fooled once again. The whole thing seemed too good to be true, and that was confirmed when I was asked for $5700.00 to bring her to my house. The latest caregiver helper was another disappointment, and it exhausted my hope. I give up. I am sure that for me, a life navigated with misanthropic policies is best. Trust no one. I feel like an abused dog.

My native language is English, the US version, and it has many words with multiple meanings. That is why context is essential, and redundant phrases are sometimes necessary. Scientists and lawyers often define what they will use in a document.

Provoke and Evoke

pro·voke - stimulate or give rise to (a reaction or emotion, typically a strong or unwelcome one) in someone.
"The decision provoked a storm of protest from civil rights organizations." Oxford

e·voke - 1. bring or recall to the conscious mind.
"the sight of American asters evokes pleasant memories of childhood."

2.invoke (a spirit or deity).
"Akasha is evoked in India when a house is being built to ensure its completion."

Most of us have functioning Sex Organs; it is how we use them that makes all the difference.

I believe that when you please your lover, you get the greatest pleasure for yourself at the same time.

These days, there are artificial measures that can help increase pleasure, especially vibrators, penus replicas, virgina replicas, and new long-lasting lubricants.

The luricants are even great for masturbation but for me as an old fashioned man nothing is better than soaking wet pussy or a passionate blow job from a woman who makes love to my cock..

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Yes, some BDSM websites have women with perfect bodies, but I like the less-than-perfect girls more. Age? I like older woman that make ferocious love to a cock. I can only imagine how great that is for the guy. What is important to me is the way women seem to enjoy sex in all the BDSM ways. I know I am a sucker with fantasies but I do expect things to change very soon.

My wife used to pluck her eyebrows, but now, since she relies on my care, she doesn't. They are growing in, and they are beautiful. Her body hair is all beautiful. Seems I favor a woman's natural body.

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Readers, I do not claim that I am an extremely experienced BDSM participant, but I can teach a novice woman sub, and I can use some classes from a professional Mistress. I just discovered there is a new woman who is a sub about three miles from me through another website. I am hoping we can become friends. pixabay.com images

I hide this from myself almost all the time: I have some form of Extra Sensory Perception. This morning, I awoke with a sense that something significant was about to happen. Personal or a world event? I do not like this feeling.