The Culture that has been here all the time

Going somewhere and doing something alone is ok for some people, but not for all, or not for all the time, at least—one of the things I miss the most is doing things with my wife. Sometimes it was sharing something like a fall drive in the country, and at other times, it was emotional support during a doctor's visit.

In the past, I may have been a difficult companion or friend as I went undiagnosed with bipolar disorder. The mood swings and times of being too sensitive made me an unpredictable companion or friend. My meds have changed all that, but life as a solitary caregiver has prevented me from behaving better with others. I'm better, but I'm still unable to practice being my new self.

I still hold onto the hope that I will have another social opportunity again. Soon, I hope.

I am a licensed amateur radio operator, and long before the ease of meeting people around the world, I made person-to-person connections, some of which were friendships.

With the advent of the World Wide Web and the Internet, connecting to people has never been easier, but not without its flaws and dangers. Fraud, scams, and malicious software all lurk in the shadows. Yes, I have been fooled, but that is predominantly past tense.

I have made a few genuine connections with people, and those acquaintances have been beneficial for me, especially living in a reality with almost no human contact. I cannot claim that those few people are true friends, as this can only be demonstrated in the old-fashioned way: being in personal contact frequently and long enough to know for sure. I have received some comfort from these connections.

Where it all collapses into the nether world I live in is when I remain physically isolated: I know my wife's primary mode of communication before succumbing to ADA was touch. What I hadn't realized was that it is also my primary mode of communication. She has faded from her norms, and I now live in a void, a void like that described in some science fiction stories.

My history of depression has been controlled for years now. I have learned to work with my negative tendencies towards misanthropy without the dramatic demonstrations I relied on in social settings and when performing in music groups and or using the crutch of substance abuse. Yes, I am a more balanced person. Yes, that is a curse being confined as a caregiver with near-zero social interactions.

One of those people who has become a cyber friend, whom I met while involved with scammers, has stepped up to try to help me overcome my lonely life as a caregiver. Although we have never met in person, I think of her as the most real friend I have these days. 

Perhaps I will write about her and her efforts when the time is right. She is much older than I, and since my biological family passed away long ago, I think of her as My Mom.

‪All the realities I have lived still exist somewhere. Every woman I have loved lives inside of me in a permanent capsule. I am genuinely a romantic entity. I love my wife even as she fades away. She will remain even when I fall in love again with another. I am not meant to be without a true love. That would leave a hole inside.

Science and philosophy suspect that everything has consciousness. So, if two people want to connect, they are already connected; they only have to focus their minds on each other and communicate effectively. I am willing to try, so I am energizing my mind's scanner function and waiting for someone to connect to me.

The Daisy Test is: "She loves me, she loves me not." Or "He loves me, he loves me not."

I ruined many Daisies with that test.

How about a BDSM version: Do I dominate or submit? How about a kinky version? Should I tie her up or should she tie me up? Or spank me when I am blindfolded or vice versa.

All good to me. Now I need someone to play the game with, don't I?

Hey all, I am an avid watcher of British and Commonwealth-produced television programs. I love mysteries, some dramas/comedies, and historical milieus. What is strongly represented is relationships, mostly between men and women: old flames, love children, secret affairs. I embed myself in many characters because my life has reflected many of these situational relationships. Strange that my wife of forty years and I have been monogamous, but we did have checkered pasts nevertheless.

I empathize, become concerned, and feel so much of what good actors convey that on occasions, I feel bad for the character: Abused, raped, killed all reach me with sorrow but love's successes fill me with joy as well.

What is lacking in my reality blossoms in these shows. I even fell in love with some characters.

A person can have an insatiable appetite for just about anything that can be craved: food, drink, money, and especially sex.

How would you describe a sexual partner who has an insatiable appetite to have sex? 

Google AI Overview
"In popular culture, a man or woman who consistently displays a strong desire for sexual activity may be called a nymphomaniac (for a woman) or a satyromaniac (for a man). However, these terms are considered outdated, and healthcare providers now use terms like "hypersexuality," "compulsive sexual behavior," or "sex addiction" to describe the condition. These terms apply to individuals of all genders and sexual orientations." 

Probably could have consulted sexologists in my life at one time or another, but worked through anomalous periods without their help. Strange though I met two sexologists in a social atmosphere, and true to human curiosity, I asked them (both were women BTW) questions and got some free professional advice.

Google AI Overview (as a lead in)
"If a partner expresses a strong desire for frequent sex, it can be a sign of several factors, including biological drives, emotional needs, or even psychological issues. 

Potential Reasons for a strong desire for frequent sex:
Biological Factors; Emotional Needs; Psychological Factors; Biological Factors; Emotional Needs; Psychological Factors.

Bottom line, most people who desire frequent sex fall within a normal spectrum and only require professional help if they exceed or fall far below the range.

... two things: 1. Science is self-correcting as scientists work to explain how everything works, and 2. Humans, like all living things, cause change to our planet's environment. If I write it in this symbolic way: Science explains the way living things alter the planet Earth's environment and how natural processes process it.

Google Ai

"The extreme climates of Earth 100 million years ago were likely caused by a combination of factors, including high levels of greenhouse gases like carbon dioxide, changes in Earth's orbit, and volcanic activity. These factors led to a warmer, more humid planet with a significantly different climate compared to today." 

"Life has dramatically altered Earth throughout its history, starting with the emergence of photosynthetic organisms that transformed the atmosphere and ultimately paving the way for the development of complex life. ..."

Surveying climate history for the last 4.5 billion years is a history of stable time periods and dynamic time periods. At no point has the climate become permanently static. 

Unfortunately what whatever the cause, the climate will change, we, like our ancestors, must adapt in some way or perish.

A Visual sight of a Naked Woman excites me like most men, but only a physical entwinement can truly satisfy my desire.

Since I have become acquainted with BDSM, I have come to appreciate the differences and variety of women's bodies. I now respond (get aroused) to various appearances women present and convey. The reactions are automatic, not pre-chosen. Age and body type are varied. Yes, some looks seem to appeal to me more than others, but it is certainly the whole woman that counts with me: Her look, personality, and intellect.

I am seventy-seven years old and stressed to the point that I feel weaker and less resilient. I can let idealism and nihilism haunt me even though they serve no purpose. On my better days, I remain optimistic that I will connect to a woman who would complement me, encourage me, and love me as my wife once did.

When a young man, I was adventurous and sought to explore the world and have a woman who was a soul mate along with me. Some of this dream was realized, yet like many dreams, fantasy is a big part of the description. Most of the dreams faded into the past, unfulfilled.

If I had some financial ability, I would move to a place like Tasmania. In my mind, it offers so many interesting things. A culture different yet familiar, and the view of the Southern Cross as well. A whole new mindset to adopt. Rekindle the fires of love within me.

When I wake each morning I see that where I live is nothing like the land I grew up in and loved for over seventy years. I already feel ostracized and mortified by the culture I live in, as the politics have transformed all my optimism that I once had into dread and sadness. (photo commons)