The Culture that has been here all the time

Dear Every One,

I am not one for rash conclusions so this simply is a reflection of my experience as it is currently.

The Subculture BDSM and especially for me M/S presents a vast arrangement of individuals from extremely experienced to just interested yet one thing is clear there is no bachelor's Degree in how and what to do and many of us are groping in the dark. That is the epitome of freedom and liberty. Freedom to experiment test out what you are drawn to and what the aversions are and Liberty to enjoy your uniqueness without negatively affecting another.  In many technical schools I attended and graduated as well as College so often the term arose "But this is how it is in the real world." Or how it is done etc..  How many ways are there to feed your Parakeet, then consider how many ways there are to go on an adventure. Hmmm. Humans have things in common and so do subcultures that is how we identify one another but there is no conformity to the non-conformist without risking violating the very principle the title suggests. Back to us and in particular Master Slave or Dominant one and Submissive one.

If you don't know something interact and take notes to teach each other to test the limits (have a safety code word please). Two main areas of interest serving as a sub and the aspect of Pleasure Slave (Not my words I borrowed them from the book with the same name). If the dom has a procedure for housework and the sub is comfortable with it go for it. The realm of erotica has to be "a work in progress" in the best use of my brain and experience. It will evolve as it should, please Dom and Sub, and blossom as it grows if it becomes stagnant it isn't any different than the millions of coupes out there who say, "My significant other doesn't excite me anymore." I need a new spouse. Then time goes by and the whole thing repeats. Do Doms and Subs run their course also yes? Many times, but in the auspices I have observed this is governed with less or no formal contract. Pack up your tent and then move to the next oasis is perfectly fine unless there is "Palimony".

The definitions of heterosexual, bi, gay monogamous, polygamous, and so on only apply when both Dom and Sum agree on the term that describes their relationship. If I get my chance I may call it a visiting kissing cousin, or our experiment, or our purely romantic Love, whatever, (my ill but living wife has complicated things because while her disease has made her asexual, I honor my commitment to take care of her and no woman I came close to enjoying as a friend with benefits so far accepts this condition).

Write your own story but make it exciting and refreshingly creative and please keep out jealousy and reprisal. I still have a love for all my exes two wives and several Lovers I have room for more but scammers need not apply.

Some years ago whenever I drove somewhere I always noticed the homes and houses that seemed to be owned by affluent people: more affluent than me. Then as time went by I realized I had to retool my vision and look at the houses owned by people less fortunate than I and that led me to consider what about the people who are invisible to me?  That was an epiphany: I recognized the world was populated by people of all levels of affluence or even impoverished. Now that was interesting since I grew up poor working from an early age lived in all kinds of neighborhoods, So what does that have to do with my thoughts on this site?

Having been made aware of the M/S culture and related lifestyles I look all around me and wonder what is happening behind closed doors. The Pedophiles make the evening news the violent type do too but the ordinary keep to themselves in BDSM hiding in planesite. Part of my military experience, my artistic side, and my incomplete liberal arts training alert me to being more observant. It harkens back to my Hippie days in the counter-culture: Take a closer look around yourself friend you will be surprised at what you may find.

On Friday my wife and I will have our 39th wedding anniversary. In her mind, It probably will not register since she has Alzheimer's/Dementia/Aphasia. Looking back she was a perfect submissive woman but I knew nothing about that back then. When we had a bump we went for marriage counseling and I was told she just wanted me to love her. I thought I was doing all the right things. Now I know better and the little bit of cognitive ability she has is her core personality (doctors told me that will be the last part of her brain to die) and she responds accordingly in every way except she doesn't want sex anymore and hasn't for more than three years.

Excerpts from ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0990544141 ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0990544142 Page 7 and 8  The Way of the Pleasure Slave Paperback – June 29, 2019 by Andrew James (Author)

I would have been a better husband if I were a Master Dom back then

I was going through months of caregiving stress without a companion for affection, comfort, or sex for more than three years. I had visited a post where the woman wrote something to the effect that she would teach a class in M/S; I sent a message indicating I would be interested. I went about my tragic history of being scammed at least nine times willing to pay a woman to help me take care of my wife or at least take me off the "this man is seriously horney list." I engaged in one failed attempt to have an FWB after another. It was at that time I noticed I kept getting emails from Priscilla a dominatrix. Finally, after several months of this, I replied who are you?

She told me we briefly met on a friend seekers site and indicated I was interested in learning about a Master-Slave relationship so she told me how to register and when I could have a place in her next class; she added this is a way for you to solve two problems: 1) help caring for my wife and home 22) someone to care for me and my needs. She told me I could have two slaves with you anytime.

Slaves? Really? What kind of slaves? She said they are highly trained. Stay away from ordinary dating sites "they might ruin you." Ruin me? So that was the start of quite an enlightenment. I have an AA in Physics and an assortment of liberal arts studies so including social anthropology would enable me to take that and my seventy-six years of life to quickly grasp what I was taught and see human life from an entirely different perspective from the Western Judio Christian culture I was raised in a taught was the only truth. 

A bell went off in my head and it harkened back to my Hippie days and the upheaval that society went through in the Sixties. From Hippie to Soldier of the Month bent on "Debauchery: Extreme indulgence in bodily pleasures and especially sexual pleasures: behavior involving sex, drugs, alcohol, etc. that is often considered immoral. … he was glad when others joined them, men and women; and they had more drink and spent the night in wild rioting and debauchery." (Only a little exaggerated) And then, and then, 50 years of conformity to social "norms mostly" Until family and friends abandoned me to the lone task of care for my lovely wife of 39 years (early onset) Alzheimer's/Dementia/Apashia more than 3 years doing it alone but with health and mental support from The Veterans Administration.

My Lovely Teacher prepared me well to be a Master and will continue to. She will coach me through my on-the-job learning. She has introduced me to my first two slaves and has scheduled us for events the soonest the second week of February. They will live with me for three weeks prior to the event. She also has encouraged me to recruit and train a personal slave. I will post my experiences and what I learn as we go along.