One of the reflections I find the one that often creeps into my mind is this: I wonder if my wife is bisexual?
Through the decades, there were hard economic times when I needed to drive long ways to work and work up to 70 hours and even seven days a week sometimes; I know at times my wife must have felt neglected not deliberately but my long hours (and one job away every other day) at times a victim of fatigue it now seems it was no wonder she had a girlfriend who spent more time with her than I could. They went places since the kids were older then and they shared caring for her friend's horse, and her friend had a beach house they went to. When things improved, I stepped up my performance schedule as a singer-songwriter, which was also a strain, and that didn't help, but they both would come to my performances.
I found her watching online porn and I didn't think too much about it.
I am paying for the neglect now caused by her illness, and I lament wishing I had been better at balancing her needs with mine.
Note, however, the time we took to make love was excellent, no complaints.
Jim.