The end of engaging in sex and enjoying it. My wife has been asexual for several years now, but in the last two weeks her illness has gotten worse. My caregiving is a great challenge. My search for some form of assistance with the help of social workers and doctors has stepped up to the max.
I feel numb from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet. Even patting my pets offers me limited comfort. I have blogged before when I was in the dark hours, but this time I sense a difference. I sent out an S.O.S to my family and received no response (save one that I am not the only one in the family with this sort of problem).
A couple of scammers who I still get emails from (no, I don't give them money) tell me things will get better (they have been saying that for almost three years). How?
This is a blog on a BDSM website where I have always been able to speak my mind about the sexual implications. I always had a hope "sexual healing" was real, and I would find a lover who was able to heal me: NO. I think it is a myth, like so many other myths.
This time heading for 78 years old in July and beat up, moving my wife around in bed and in and out of a wheelchair, I believe I have run out of energy and optimism - I am a statue made of stone.
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