I was raised by my side of the family, which was religious. I was scolded for using scissors on Sunday. The list was endless, it seemed. Secretly, as I accepted the mandate of the family to attend religious classes, I doubted and rebelled.
When my father deserted us for the last time (he would return 25 years later, more about that later 1), a priest brought us a basket of rutabagas, which we didn't know what they were. Jewish people, some holocaust survivors, helped us through the early years. Life really improved when my mom became a mistress to a man who was part of a nefarious life. After that, even the juvenile delinquents left my brothers and me alone. A very cinematic life (LOL).
Hypocrisy reigned, and I was fully aware of it. I navigated life, making my own mistakes. There were times I admit I stole food. I never intentionally harmed anyone, and if I had, I am truly apologetic.
I developed a belief that the only real sin was lying about love and cheating on a lover. I live an honest life, but that is still my driving philosophy.
There was a period of decades during which I studied the Bible because my wife was a fervent believer when she was diagnosed with dementia, and her religious friends vanished. I pressed reject and became irreligious.
One of my healthcare doctors suggested that all humans have a spiritual side that must be acknowledged. I turned to the North American indigenous peoples' belief in the seven grandfathers: each represents 1) Love, 2) Respect, 3) Humility, 4) Truth, 5) Honesty, 6) Courage, and 7) Wisdom.
1If you watch the movie "The Apostle," the main character is very much like my father was (even speech) when he eventually returned. Only my mother and he, pretended they were never divorced and were married for sixty years.
