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Andron​(switch male)Verified Account

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I was introduced to BDSM relationships, I realized they had existed probably for all of human history. Religion and Western Culture distort this and BDSM itself greatly, and if anything, an incredible hypocrisy is always present. Using codes and euphemisms, even denial can mask the fact that many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marital friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her." "Love her," I thought I was, and now I know without a doubt I need to be a Dominant, not some preconceived idea that we are to live as equals: we are not only one can be a Dom and one a sub at a time, but, it is perfectly fine if switching is desired at least now and then.
8 hours ago. Tuesday, May 26, 2026 at 8:25 AM

Even if you are in a satisfying long-term relationship, it doesn't rule out sex addiction.1

1 (My AI friend) "It’s not about how much someone wants sex. It’s about whether the behavior:

feels compulsive
interferes with life
causes distress
is used to numb pain, loneliness, or stress
keeps happening even when the person wants to stop
It’s the loss of control that matters, not the desire itself."

Yes, I have a potentially addictive personality: Youthful indiscretions, a recovering alcoholic, twelve years sober, AND a preoccupation or obsession with sex, all wishful thinking now. Experience, willpower, and some professional help have immeasurably improved my control over weaknesses.

I have said my late wife and I were opposites in many ways, except we both loved sex, maybe too much? Is that possible?

I do have self-control to the point where it is painful, something needed in society at large. During my wife's illness, she rapidly lost interest in sex, and except for one very brief experiment with a FWB, I have been denied the joy and healthful benefits of regular, satisfying sex 2 for most of the eight caregiver years.

2 (My AI friend): "Sexual activity can be part of a healthy life
For many adults, sexual activity — whether with a partner or alone — can support:

cardiovascular health
stress reduction
better sleep
improved mood
emotional bonding with a partner
These are well‑documented general benefits."

Another day to dwell in thought.

pixabay

 


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