Hello Friends,
Emotional sensitive and psychologically challenged people like myself have better days if when we wake in the morning, the anxiety level is low, there is something pleasant to anticipate, and having a partner that offers an alternative possibility from what we tend to think negatively about too often. From "The Nam," my fellow veteran who was a grunt in the "First Calvery" (US Army) had a mantra I knew he mainly used it to vent though (even here in The States), he had some above-average negatives to deal with with with. He would tell me, "You are born, you live, and you die."
We all know this is a fact of life, but despite this and my distorted way of thinking, I expect more, and sometimes, I get something better in life.
When I work on anything artistic (especially my songs), I most often have a sense of optimism or mystery and fight back sadness and anxiety. Welterschmertz is always waiting at my front door. When I open that door on my best days, someone I love steps in between me and that sad spector.
My wife, before her illness, used to be my greatest salvation. Now, without intention, she can escort the specter inside where I live to greet me. There are some people who can ease my pain and stave off the worst ill feelings, and here in this kink culture, there is much to deflect my negative tendencies and not let them swarm over me.
My interest in science is also a big distraction. I follow the developments of Space X, especially the James Web Telescope and its achievements. I turned down* a full scholarship for Princeton University (class of 81) in Astrophysics, but my core interest in the Cosmos remains. It may be a type of salvation I expect from the snares of entropy that engulf us and all we see and experience.
The blossoms of spring, the birds that sing, and the gentle touch of spring air live as my lover's soft hair does, which is good for me and gives me peace.
* Older than most freshmen entering a five-year program (a must live on campus), about to be remarried, and, I admitted I could have been a better mathematician.
