Andron{NO}

The Culture that has been here all the time

When I studied to acquire my Master's status I discovered the M/S relationship existed probably for all the history of humans. Religion and Western Culture distort this greatly. Using codes and euphemisms even denial masks it presents the fact many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marriage friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her" "Love her" I thought I was and did now I know without a doubt I need to be a master, not some preconceived idea we are to live as equals.

Loneliness

4 months ago. May 29, 2024 at 12:50 AM

Friends,

There is no easy cure for loneliness when your social life is crippled. Negative experience breeds at least some misanthropy, and some misanthropy leads to isolation. Online chats can not break isolation; the only safe solution is withdrawing into a shell. The shell is a comfort zone for me. I know I will probably remain in this state even when my wife passes. Perhaps until I reach my end. It is not hopeless because hopelessness implies there is some remnant of hope (less hope). I am now totally without hope.

I do not like to say I will never talk about anything good or bad, but I have no intention of looking for someone, family, or friends to trust truly. Trust is now past tense. I once trusted too quickly. I used to trust, but now I can not allow myself that luxury.

Don't cry for me. I am in my comfort zone and glad that I am.

ladypatience - I feel this

4 months ago

Andron{NO} - Sometimes, if something seems too good to be true and it faulters, it was too good to be true.

4 months ago

lambsone - What would your social life look like if it wasn't crippled?

Being an introvert, I don't have a critical need to have a social life. I like the quiet, solitude, etc. I think men have this need in general more than women do. After all God created woman after He realized that it wasn't good for man to be alone.

Too much activity, sounds, and visual stimulation, tend to wear me out and I need the quiet to be able to think and reflect, to get my bearings back so to speak. To feel like myself. It's probably why I hate rock music. It's too confusing, noisy, and seems to have little purpose.

However there are times when I get sick of my own company and have to get out and do something away from home. I like going to free events at our county libraries. Looking forward to a Scottish festival. I might go to a Celtic festival too. Both to experience my heritage.

After studying psychology in grad school for one year and doing clinicals in an elderly facility, I can see how isolation fits in with senior's lives. Kids have moved away, they don't see their grandchildren, their friends are dieing off, they aren't as mobile anymore, they deal with sickness. Some have had to give up driving, etc.

A person our age almost has to be more creative in circumventing loneliness. I've never had the privilege of being married, so I've always been alone. I'm not even sure I'm marriageable.

I hope you are being honest about your current position with your Psych. Doctors. I know mine wouldn't put up with what you are doing if they knew about it. They would take more action to get me on a healthier track. But if you are comfortable with the isolation, then go for it, live it up to the best of your ability. Congratulations in finding your happy place.

4 months ago

Andron{NO} - All my counselors put up with my isolation because I cannot take my wife out, I can't afford an aide, and the ones I tried didn't work. I have no choice but to enjoy my predominant solitude.

4 months ago

lambsone - You go guy!

4 months ago

Andron{NO} - Some people like me simply like being alone once they admit it and have accepted that it is the way it must be. But I still have my wife's thoughts altered by brain disease.

4 months ago

Andron{NO} - I should read "People as I,". And, I still have some interaction with my wife, though her brain dysfunction limits that.

4 months ago

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