Hello, friends and acquaintances.
I have blogged directly and indirectly about the consequences of 24/7 caregiving for my wife with cognitive impairment (severe now) and lamented about things I missed and wrestled with the lack of intimacy for example. Yes, I still would enjoy a sexual relationship if I had a chance for it, and I even would explore my kinkier side along the way. Right now, I have realized what I miss the most though: Companionship with my wife and the ability to share many interests and activities. We were sexually compatible, living as Dom and sub (wife) for about forty years, but in many things, we were opposites.
She was not intellectually inclined, and I am: her IQ and mine were way out on opposite sides of the scale. We liked music, animals, long drives, the ocean, and some food. She was not creative but supported all my creative experiments and my quests for knowledge.
It is frustrating to have her in body and without much cognitive ability and no interest in sex. But I am getting used to it. I am learning not to dwell on the absence of having a sexual partner. I am no longer allowing myself to be the victim of scammers, and I am working to repair the financial damage they have inflicted on my finances.
Burying myself in cosmology as it is now (getting up to date) and watching some television programs, like British TV and old movies, gets me through each day. I also do a lot of cooking to improve our diets.
I pray for a miracle cure for my wife, though logically, that appears to be very unlikely.
