3 months ago. December 8, 2024 at 9:19 PM
My bad mood is getting worse fast. Life is hopeless.
Online now
The Culture that has been here all the time
When I studied to acquire my Master's status I discovered the M/S relationship existed probably for all the history of humans. Religion and Western Culture distort this greatly. Using codes and euphemisms even denial masks it presents the fact many people thrive within this often unrecognized subculture. For example, my wife had all the earmarks of a pleasure slave and was generally devoted and submissive to me. In times of marriage friction, I often heard the words from a counselor, "She just wants you to love her" "Love her" I thought I was and did now I know without a doubt I need to be a master, not some preconceived idea we are to live as equals.
Andron
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I have decided to spend less time online it only upsets me more . . . . "I am already connected to the VA but Jeanne is not a vet so they can not help me with her. I am always put on suicide watch during significant holidays since I have no one with me who shares them. Jeanne doesn't even know what a holiday is. I own my own home my car is paid off. The mortgage is a VA mortgage. They know I gave my money away to women and keep tabs on me. I have two antidepressants and one antianxiety med: non of this helps me with my loneliness. Jeanne is on the level of a toddler we can't share tv, movies dining out, books even rides in the country any longer. I love her but it is the memory of the way she once was. . . . ."
My stepchildren hate me more since the money I gave away the were counting on to inherit. My son and daughter are very wealthy but want no part of their step mom and me since she was diagnosed with dementia. My son in law is a control freak and I haven't seen my wealthy daughter since the 1990's because of his thinking we want their money I guess. She has a 250 acre estate in the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.. . . . .
I do not really know what keeps me going. Thinking about Asynth and Tequela for the first time in 12 years. Jim
My stepchildren hate me more since the money I gave away the were counting on to inherit. My son and daughter are very wealthy but want no part of their step mom and me since she was diagnosed with dementia. My son in law is a control freak and I haven't seen my wealthy daughter since the 1990's because of his thinking we want their money I guess. She has a 250 acre estate in the Shenandoah Valley in Virginia.. . . . .
I do not really know what keeps me going. Thinking about Asynth and Tequela for the first time in 12 years. Jim
3 months ago
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ladypatience
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I really can not imagine what life is like for you right now but I know you know what your feeling right now will pass. I dont have a quick fix because as most know quick fixes like alcohol or drugs do nothing but help us hit a hopefully temporary not permanent bottom where were even more miserable. I'm so very sorry Andron your going through this, i mean that with all my heart. Keep talking to people and hang on you WILL get through this. I'm here if you'd ever like to chat.
3 months ago
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Andron
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Thanks. I now believe spending too much online venting is counterproductive; I keep whipping up a self-made storm.
3 months ago
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Andron
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If you were near we could have a conversation over tea or coffee and a scone.
3 months ago
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Andron
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Especially two women who took my money and have given me nothing but keep talking to me when they know they drained me of my money. NOT LOLO. And I still know very little about them. I wish they would give up because even if I recover financially, I won't give them any more money. The texts ease my lack of social life, but it's gotten old.
3 months ago
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