The Culture that has been here all the time

Not entirely the first, but the first in this type of pose in the past, very partial poses only. Oh, I forgot to sign it. Watercolor and watercolor pencil.

I got into QoR watercolors for two reasons: 1) I can't locate my good watercolors, and 2) The hype around CoR (from Blick/Golden) sold me. Not the most expensive, but definitely not inexpensive. Using gouache and watercolor pencils with watercolors is new to me. I was predominantly a landscape artist and did some surreal work as well, mostly in acrylics and then oils; now I am putting all my efforts into figure and face work, especially nude work. I am not afraid to make mistakes and admit it: I trashed my first full nude from her back because I made some awful painting mistakes and ruined it.

Moving on. I am so happy that Pixabay.com has pre-approved models with release forms on file, so my lack of having a muse and live models is not a complete hindrance.

Sometimes, when I paint a woman, I vicariously fall in love with her.

PS I will also do other subjects, landscape, flowers, even surreal art when the mood strikes me.

I updated my Morning Post. Now, I am one step closer to being a working artist once more. I have my business cards and am about to start a website, but what I need most is a companion muse who is also an artist, so we can encourage one another.

When looking for something fails, it cranks up my anxiety. I can't seem to shake it today. My cat and dog tried, but to no avail. When anxiety flares up at this level, and nothing seems to quench it, it generates the stark picture of a lonely life. A comforting embrace would go a long way, but it is missing, and it's something I can not buy.

A wise black woman I knew a half-century ago often counseled me on my way of thinking. Her simple question was so thought-provoking that I have never forgotten her words, "What does what you are thinking (or believing) have to do with that?" Sometimes she paraphrased it to fit a situation. How she became an impromptu counselor, I do not recall.

The situation was when I was in an emotionally dark place, and the information I had available to me was scarce and often inaccurate, so my mind, being so intensely active, filled all the blanks, and as many of you know from my blog, that is not good because I chose to see things in a negative light.

The missing solution then and now is the same: a warm, comforting embrace. Since I communicate most effectively with human touch, offering and receiving, and I am living in what may be the darkest cave of my life. If only I had just one candle offered to me. images pixabay

UPDATE: I found dozens of my paintings in my self-storage unit. My anxiety dropped very well. I will sleep much better tonight. Also, I will go over my new website notes before I build it; the first step will establish it, and the second step later will offer my artwork for sale again.

We All Should Know Ourselves:

"Know thyself" (gnothi seauton) is an ancient Greek aphorism, famously inscribed at the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, urging individuals to understand their limitations, motivations, and true nature. It signifies the importance of internal reflection over surface observation, encompassing self-examination of passions, weaknesses, and recognizing oneself as a mortal rather than a god.

I was lost for about eight years to myself because I devoted all my focus and energy to caring for my wife during her cognitive decline. Now, on a storm-tossed sea, seeking refuge, I suddenly discover the answer has been within me all along. The shore I landed on was where I thrive creatively. I am back where I know how to live. I have immersed myself in my creative artwork.

Whether it was a song or a painting, I became one with the endeavour. The beautiful thing about this? My late wife knew it was my happy place.

Instead of sadness, I feel inspired. Like many artists, I have periods: some produce fine work, some fail, but I always learn from the effort.

Now? I suddenly realise Edward Hopper's work speaks volumes to me; maybe I will emulate his work, and it will become my "Edward Hopper" period.

I long for a muse more knowing that he had a longtime companion who helped him defeat his demons. Whether alone or with a companion, I shall venture forth. My little house is rapidly becoming my artist's studio LOL.

Hotel-by-a-Railroad-Edward-Hopper-1952

Public domain photograph of hotel lobby, free to use, no copyright restrictions image - Picryl description

Gathering my paintings and artwork that I haven't sold, maybe I will find a venue to display them, even the flea market outside of town on the main highway, when I am ready. Some of the new projects will be ready during the summer too.

Something to feel positive about in a sad time after my wife's passing.

If we met and felt drawn to each other, we could build a strong, lasting love that would weather any storm. Why? Because I have lived in many loves and endured many storms. I am not afraid of love; it is the best part of living a human being can have: The experience of deep love and commitment.

Reading the story of some famous artists who had a companion or a spouse as a muse is encouraging: a worthy goal for me. Since posting about painting the figures of women, I have learned there are at least two sources of photos of models that have already been cleared for use. These will serve as teaching tools but will not replace a woman who will be my companion and muse.

Voicing my desire to resume my painting and expand my subject matter to include nudes has resulted in several women contacting me, expressing their willingness to be my model and muse, none of whom are near enough to meet in person so far.

I would like a woman to model for my nudes to be a muse and inspire me at all levels, but in lieu of my finding one, the going rate for an art model in this State is $15 - $50 per hour, with a minimum of two hours paid even for less time. I have blank model release forms and all the art materials I need. I only lack a model. pixabay image

My late wife and I were not prudes; we chose some religious influences in raising our four children, and in this culture, it hadn't gone well. 

I have begun painting and drawing in general as I prepare to approach creating nude artwork. The mechanism of form and the choice of a palette are all in the works.

Songs are more personal, like deep poetry, but I want my art to be free. I love the female form and features, so I will devote my efforts to improving my art in that regard. I want to paint women of all body types, not just the overpraised thin models. Include details such as birthmarks and breasts of different sizes on the right and left sides. I have art books to begin my studies, but I hope to have real women as models when it becomes possible. All images pixabay.com

Even when I was young and throughout some of my adult life, I learned about the harsh realities of creative people. Since I was brought up mostly with encouragement in my artwork and songwriting, it was a jarring shock to learn that everything in this world has a political side. True, many can attain something equivalent to making a living, punctuated by times of just getting by. To become more than that requires more than luck but someone you know.

I learned "the ropes" in New York City's Greenwich Village by visiting centers for the performing and creative arts. I didn't like "prid quo pro."  The dislike of it stemmed from its seeming unfair and biased. And of course it was. Like it or not, that is how the world works.

I turned down chances to advance my songs and artwork because the people willing to back me had questionable backgrounds. Even some of my professionally successful compatriots warned me about some of them. 

So I have all my works and all of the pieces of the pie, but had I accepted the real-world solution, I would have had a smaller piece of a much bigger pie. Maybe.

No regrets, the negative side left many former friends in a bad place, even if they are still living.

My favorite artist is Vincent van Gogh, and his fame and success were established after his death through the efforts of his sister-in-law.

Johanna van Gogh-Bonger (1862–1925), the wife of Vincent’s brother Theo, was the primary promoter responsible for Van Gogh's posthumous fame. After inheriting his paintings in 1891, she organized key exhibitions, sold works strategically, and published his letters, building his legacy over 35 years and establishing his global recognition.