The Culture that has been here all the time

Yes, maybe coffee is part of it. But I have been the focus of doctors all my life because I have a dual challenge ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) + Bipolar, and to make things worse, the profession seems to keep changing the definition and how to treat it. Throw in bouts of clinical depression and borderline personality, and voilà, many, I am sure, have written papers on me. Yes, at times my life has been a nightmare, punctuated with good things like scholarships and achievement awards, dean's list, and honor society.  Most of all, creativity was when I could keep my focus on my work. Enough good things to outshine my inner torment. How do I cope? I will write about that later.

My first two wives, whom I loved, were riding my storms and did little to alter my course. Some humor now and then, like when my second mother-in-law asked, "Are you going to play one of your improvised fugues today?" LOL

My late wife number three had issues, and I believe she understood me best. She was my island of refuge in a dark, storm-tossed sea. Think of all the metaphors I lost when she passed away. Meds have stabilized me now for almost five years, but the other ingredient: desire to hold it all together, is waning.

Like many celebrities with similar issues, I turned my challenges into creativity and achievement; the world compliments me without seeing my inner struggles. And so I have resumed my focus as an artist using science and organizational skills to advance my renewed agenda.

Muse, where are you?

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My mind always seems to be full of ideas, so I must consider which one would be a good one to post and achieve either a personal point or a general, useful point.

Exploring unfamiliar things stimulates and engages my mind. Sometimes it also inspires learning a new skill. Playing guitar led to electric guitar, steel guitar, keyboards, banjo, mandolin, and even writing songs. Oh, yes, harmonica too. Collecting Victorian novels, engaging in philosophy, and expanding my horticulture knowledge are some examples.

In the past four months, I collected my artwork and materials and became reacquainted with what I knew and what I wanted to learn.

I have used pastels, colored pencils, oil paints, acrylic paints, and watercolor paints. I engage extensively in watercolor and acrylic. I added gouache and casein paints to the mix. The learning curve reveals pluses and minuses as always. So, I have returned to focus on watercolor with mixed mediums. I invested in professional-grade colors and brushes that are currently highly regarded.

Like playing guitar, cutting the lawn, and now painting, all this activity is good for me as aging challenges my abilities. Use it or lose it, but using it keeps you healthier in more ways than one. My forte is thinking through a project, planning it, testing it, and executing it. This works well for me, probably my liberal arts education shining through. Tests of Windsor Newton oil paints.

Gathering my paintings and artwork that I haven't sold, maybe I will find a venue to display them, even the flea market outside of town on the main highway, when I am ready. Some of the new projects will be ready during the summer too.

Something to feel positive about in a sad time after my wife's passing.