I have never been the one to raise My voice unnecessarily.. (passion regarding a subject excluded.. PASSION is loud, and the majority of the time, though exceptions DO exist, those raising their voices are ONLY seeking outside attention, or validation.. This exposes insecurities.) When I do, it is usually, between Me and one, sometimes two others.. Always stating positions, which usually are relative and based, at least in part, on personal bias.. SOMETIMES even SHARING the same opinion, but from differing perspectives.. These also usually result in confirmations of both.
Dominance does NOT hit like Hurricane Katrina hitting New Orleans.. It is a constant presence, always there, tugging at those around it like gravity. NOT loud announcements proclaiming 'LOOK AT ME', but always in the background ready to move and assume command of any situation, regardless of the level the emergency, from a burned egg to an active shooter in a confined space..
Some believe that Dominance means being mean, overbearing, sometimes even (so I have been told by far more subs than I care to count, and excuse My French here) an asshole.. Those devoted to having things THEIR way or no way.. This is not dominance, it is bullying, cowering, threatening.. These tactics do NOT result in submission, it creates resentment.. Submission is willingly giving ones entire self to the Protection, Provenance, Guidance, Friendship and Love of another. These things cannot be compelled or forced from another without creating animosity from the one forced to do so.. Submission is GIVEN based on mutual trust, loyalty (which I have learned through trial and error over the years) and respect.. ALL of these are two way streets.. You DON'T respect a doormat, you understand its' purpose and place.. If someone treats another in this manner, WHERE is the respect?
Dominance is ALSO nurturing.. NOT building a cage to keep submission in, but building it up so it can flourish.. Pushing to let it find other connections outside, to be themselves with, those that think alike, can harmonize with, and express themselves with freely.. It is NOT insecure and demanding to be the ONLY presence within the relationship.. It is a mentality that allows submission to grow, to flourish, to root deeper and realize the freedom submission actually is meant to be..
THESE, I freely admit, are only MY Personal views on the subject, but was the way My Mentor (Thank You, Mistress Carol) explained them to Me..
Dom.