I can give a plethora of excuses. I could list a multitude of words here that could ease My conscience, and relieve the burden of responsibility that I now understand, and accept.. I was TOLD, when I learned to drive a truck, and HAD to agree to a year of driving over the road for the company that trained Me, that NOT being Home every night was not acceptable.. she needed someone who was home every night.. I accepted this and released her. As i left the last time, I was informed that, and I QUOTE here, "she was a month pregnant wen I MET her, the baby wasn't Mine, and NOT to worry about it..
THAT was December 27th, 2008,
I was subpoena'd in 2018 and subsequently discovered the lie.. I was present THROUGH the pregnancy, AT the birth, cut the umbilical.. then discarded 6 months later as inconsequential when trying to Provide for the 'family; I chose, TWO members of which were not My blood, but accepted responsibile for.. 13 years later, I took a blood test, never heard back.. Figured the test, as I was informed, PROVED I was cleared.. Found out LATER that I was wrong.. But was prevented from even trying to make a connection to the child I WISH I had been able to BE there for..
My daughter, Jayden, turned 18 last month.. All I can do now is WISH I had been allowed to be present, but I can only believe the information given in the moment..