I have learned, due to recent events, as well as past experiences brought into a clearer perspective BY said events, to listen far more to My "gut", for lack of a batter term.. Those instincts inside that exist to prevent hurt, avoid danger and/or harm..
No fingers pointed.. No judgements made. It is not My place, nor purpose, to judge ANYONE.. I want to make this point clear, and believe I have done so multiple times in the past.. (do NOT hesitate to correct Me if I am wrong or mistaken here..)
No dwelling on details, not stating that either side in these multiple interactions, was wrong.. Just saying that once red flags present themselves, walk away.. EITHER side, Dom or sub.. IF it sounds too good to be true, ask probing, invasive questions.. YES, they may be offended by such probing questions.. Which should cement the idea that the person in question is NOT the one for you.. AGAIN, this applies to BOTH sides.. If questions make you feel "unsafe", or ANSWERS do as well, then do you truly WANT to end up tied to a bed, a wall, an X in the middle of a room THEN ask.. "can I truly TRUST this person.."?
ALWAYS trust the instinct, ESPECIALLY if it sounds too good to be true..
Dom