Drinfear's Ravings

I am going to share a story.. No intentional poetry, just stories from My life.. First of all, I want to point out, I was introduced to the BDSM lifestyle at 24, in January 1994.. I have devoted My life to embracing this lifestyle ever since.. (some can attest, having personally witnessed My Polyamorous lifestyle through the years..)
I created My last polyamorous Household when I welcomed that member to My Family and Household in Feb of 2023..? She seemed like the perfect fit, but I admit, I moved too fast, ignored multiple red flags..
While together, she would go shopping with Me.. I would pick up this or that saying Natalie will want this.. All I got in response was venom.. Statements like '-I- am the one here, why does what SHE wants matter' or even worse.. These are not the statements of someone sharing a life, or a Household together with mutual trust, respect or loyalty..
One night, while sitting playing on My computer, they got up to use the bathroom. Coming out, they said as they passed Me.. ;I'm done with this'.. I removed My headphones and told them.. 'OK'.. They blinked, and asked WHAT? I responded again.. OK. I'm done, too.. they reacted as if I had set them on fire.. yelling, screaming, DEMANDING I fight.. Why WOULD I? If it had gotten to the point that they decided it was over, I had already failed on a level that could not be recovered from, so WHY waste the effort to try to change their mind..?
THEN the accusations started.. I should have pushed back.. Should have fought to keep the relationship, should have this, could have that.. WORDS have meaning.. If you SAY something, be prepared for it to be accepted.. DON'T try to become a (the) victim when the words are accepted exactly the way you expressed them.. DON'T try to walk it back, because, IN that moment, you reveal EXACTLY who you really ARE. No filters, no excuses, no second chances, no exceptions..

 Dom

3/3/26

 I do NOT have many 'friends'.. I have a PLETHORA of acquaintances.. THESE are not 'friends'.. FRIENDS are those that show up.. They impose, they CHOOSE you through hard times, do not make excuses. They are present, give support, give advice.. They are FAMILY.. They prove it daily by being present, by pushing you to achieve.. Things Family is meant to do..

 I do not judge ANYONE.. This is NOT My purpose or place in life.. -I- forgive. PERIOD.. I base My decisions on what is presented to Me.. HOW can I not? If something is SAID, it is MEANT.. Words spoken, regardless of context, have MEANING.. If they're not MEANT, do not SAY them.. Self evident, yeah..? Once spoken, they CANNOT be recalled, and the attempts to walk them back are immaterial.. They were spoken aloud and their meaning was COMPLETELY clear.. There is no interpretation, no definitions that smooth the "vibe, or intention" meanings are just THAT..

 I have a friend here.. One I consider Family.. No names, no finger pointing, no shame, no guilt.. They suffer in a way -I- did at a point in My life.. One of the top 3 moments in My life that I, personally struggled with.. I may have been much younger, but struggle is struggle, and I PRAY My words may make an impact, and that they'll reach out.. Whether to Me, or anyone else.. 

Dom

03/01/26

 Look.. I do not DEMAND, or even expect, instant Respect.. Those that do KNOW, deep down, they are NOT worthy of it.. I expect no DIS-respect, there is a MASSIVE difference.. I understand, and accept that Respect and Loyalty, the basis for ANY relationship, Lifestyle or otherwise, are two way streets.. You cannot expect to get that which you refuse to give.. I KNOW I am worthy. I also know that Trust, Respect and Loyalty will be given once they have been EARNED by the one(s) I speak with.. I do not expect or demand it before then.. But I also REFUSE to accept dis-respect because someone 'identifies' as a brat.. THAT is a completely different conversation.. (SAYING you're a 'brat' to break someone's balls isn't the same, sorry, NOT sorry to break any bubbles here..)

 I have ALWAYS been the one others turn to, the one others tell 'she's not tamable' until they are LITERALLY wrapped around My finger.. Then receiving messages.. "HOW did You'.. 'THAT isn't possible..' 'she never..' 

 NO girl is the same.. There is NO 'cookie cutter' approach from girl to girl.. You have to understand her intentions, how she sees the world.. WHY she does what she does.. Without the context, you miss the intent.. MOST usually miss this fact, and bypass a gem in the rough, which leaves those like ME to scoop them up, polish them with punishments that TEACH, instead of humiliate, and show them a different path..

 I AM an unapologetic Polyamorous DOM.. I make no excuses.. I have My Rules set in place, they are unwavering, and enforced.. I do not make excuses, nor do I accept them.. My world is black and white, right or wrong.. Anything that needs to be EXPLAINED isn't actually RIGHT, IS it? If definitions need to be defined or explained, HOW can that be considered 'right' in any definition..?

 I am not faultless.. I am human, and DO make mistakes.. When I do, I apologize, adjust My outlook to include these adjustments, and continue on.. Such is life, is it not? But My Rules encompass a systemic definition of ME.. Trust. Respect. Loyalty. These are PRINCIPLES, ones My life is based on, NOT just words to be thrown out as a convenience.. Once broken, My Trust WON'T be rebuilt or restored in ANY way.. The destruction has been done, and the lack of similar intent already displayed..  HOW can I be expected to believe ANY word that has already been SHOWN by act or deed, means NOTHING to the one that broke that trust..?

 Dom

02/28/26

 This is one of MANY songs that define Me..

 THIS is the moment,

the countdown is done.

 The future is ALL that matters,

The reckoning has begun..

 Where do you scurry? 

Where can you hide?

 Every moment has been recorded,

No place left for you to hide..

 The spotlight finally found you,

Revealing the lies you live.

 When truth now reveals the truth,

What reality can you give?

 No words you ever uttered,

 Can be defined as being true,

 Who remains now only holding,

What has been revealed as being true?

Dom

2/24/26

 I have never been the one to raise My voice unnecessarily.. (passion regarding a subject excluded.. PASSION is loud, and the majority of the time, though exceptions DO exist, those raising their voices are ONLY seeking outside attention, or validation.. This exposes insecurities.) When I do, it is usually, between Me and one, sometimes two others.. Always stating positions, which usually are relative and based, at least in part, on personal bias.. SOMETIMES even SHARING the same opinion, but from differing perspectives.. These also usually result in confirmations of both.

 Dominance does NOT hit like Hurricane Katrina hitting New Orleans.. It is a constant presence, always there, tugging at those around it like gravity. NOT loud announcements proclaiming 'LOOK AT ME', but always in the background ready to move and assume command of any situation, regardless of the level the emergency, from a burned egg to an active shooter in a confined space.. 

 Some believe that Dominance means being mean, overbearing, sometimes even (so I have been told by far more subs than I care to count, and excuse My French here) an asshole.. Those devoted to having things THEIR way or no way.. This is not dominance, it is bullying, cowering, threatening.. These tactics do NOT result in submission, it creates resentment.. Submission is willingly giving ones entire self to the Protection, Provenance, Guidance, Friendship and Love of another. These things cannot be compelled or forced from another without creating animosity from the one forced to do so.. Submission is GIVEN based on mutual trust, loyalty (which I have learned through trial and error over the years) and respect.. ALL of these are two way streets.. You DON'T respect a doormat, you understand its' purpose and place.. If someone treats another in this manner, WHERE is the respect? 

 Dominance is ALSO nurturing.. NOT building a cage to keep submission in, but building it up so it can flourish.. Pushing to let it find other connections outside, to be themselves with, those that think alike, can harmonize with, and express themselves with freely.. It is NOT insecure and demanding to be the ONLY presence within the relationship.. It is a mentality that allows submission to grow, to flourish, to root deeper and realize the freedom submission actually is meant to be.. 

 THESE, I freely admit, are only MY Personal views on the subject, but was the way My Mentor (Thank You, Mistress Carol) explained them to Me.. 

Dom.

We ALL reach points in our lives where words mean FAR less than actions.. People that talk and talk are ALL about bluster more than substance.. NO judgements, not My purpose or place in life, NO shaming.. Fact.. I have been reaching out lately.. Out of friendship, no expectations, no demands, and been shunned for doing so.. AGAIN, no shame, no judgement, just facts..
I am NOT the average guy.. I KNOW My worth, what I BRING to the table and do not hang around where My presence is proven to be unwanted time and time again.. I do not NEED to be loud, to cause scenes.. I do not DEMAND respect because only those that are unworthy do so.. I KNOW I deserve respect, I also know it will be given once I have proven this fact.. Trust, again, another cornerstone of any relationship within My orbit, is earned by consistency.. I have no problem exhibiting these things, but to be dismissed without the chance doesn't reflect on MY character, DOES it..?

 A former sub once asked Me, do You really love me?

I considered the question, then considered the source, 

 Determining the answer carefully.. 

 Finally, I smiled and responded with a nod, replying simply.. 

I DO love you.. A little.

 Her face went ashen, then an illegal shade of red, 

The perceived slight ALL that mattered.. 

 She chose to accept My response as an insult, so it seemed,

But perception is only as deep a meaning as one reads..

 She CHOSE to see My simple response as an INSULT, 

Though NOTHING could be further from the Truth.. 

 She raised her voice, she ranted and railed,

Such is the folly of our youth..

 I have given You my EVERYTHING, she said without thinking it through,

I bow, I scrape, I follow EVERY command, whether or not I feel I want to.

 But You can't tell me I mean everything, I mean more than anyone ELSE.

That You would see me as someone to keep beside you for all time..

 I smiled sadly, slowly opening up, these words you accuse are FAR from true.

I answered the question simply and honestly, now it's time to realize the TRUTH.. 

 I love you little bit more today, 

Than I EVER have loved you before. 

 I'll love you a little more on the morrow,

How can you ask, or WANT for any more?

 The love that we shared, I was led to believe,

Would transcend the confinements of Time..

 Seems that YOU have found My answer less than you saw,

Didn't even choose to ask the definition of MINE..

Dom

2/1/26

Every now and then, you find someone,
That moves into your life..
They only speak truths, some you shudder to hear,
But they open up your eyes..

They tell you things, sometimes so hard to hear,
But speak it with with the utmost of truth..
Some pass it off as the the mental failings of age,
Or the ravings of those n their youth..

These words are from Life, or from God, if you will,
Trying to save us from our the tempting inner voices..
Attempting to teach us, sometimes in vain,
Trying to save us from our own, often bad, choices..

Dom Jordan
1/19/26

 I have been told, multiple times in the past, that less is more.. I disagree.. HOW can one express their beliefs or ideas without the context from which it was derived..? YES, I can, and, alas, HAVE, in the past, boiled My experiences and observations down to their rudimentary essence.. It feels 'foreign' to Me.. It feels wrong.. Like modern math.. These are things I have LIVED through, things that NEED to be explained, not just turned into equations that some may, or may not, understand themselves,, NO judgements.. These are MY experiences, and not everyone (fortunately) has had to endure the walk -I- have in life.. I am happy to admit this, and wouldn't change this fact.. Things I have lived through (I have been told many times) would have broken lesser people, and left them shells of human beings,, *shrug* -I- just keep placing one foot in front of the other, and continue to be Me.. (details upon request if anyone cares to message for them..) 

 I have survived multiple experiences that should have ended My life.. To the point that I am beginning to wonder if THIS is MY version of hell.. But there ARE lights in the darkness.. Multiples of them, and those here KNOW who they are.. But the facts remain.. AM I stuck here..?