With the religious background I had growing up, I didn't really know anything of the world. I had an aunt (this particular aunt was my dad's sister-in-law. I'm not even sure how this topic of me even started) telling my parents that she would sort out an arranged marriage for me (I might have yelped in surprise when my future sister-in-law told me this whilst we were out shopping. I don't think my parents quite knew what to make of this. I was just starting university). With the beliefs I had at the time, I told my mum I was thinking of not getting married at all and possibly becoming a nun (I had so many ideas, I wanted to be the first female Sherlock Holmes!), either that or just not bothering and staying single, I had seen arguments my parents had most of the time, they've mellowed out a lot over the yellows and how it's mild bickering.
When I was growing up, I knew that I wanted to love everyone and the world, I thoroughly blame my maternal aunt for this, she was the sweetest soul that ever lived. I wanted to be like her and just take the pain away from people. I think that carried over into realising that I wanted something more but had no idea.
I met my husband while at university and over the years we have talked about how he was born in the wrong time period, he wanted to be in a time where people could be married with any number of people and the love for each other was what carried them through and they would be happy. With the upbringing I had, I thought this was strange, but the more I thought about it, I realised he was right. Love didn't have to be for one person, it could be for any number of people if you had the same understanding.
My mind was ablaze with so much information! We sat down and researched about what he was trying to explain and then when we found the word - polyamory, we did then looked up videos explaining what it was, and it fit with what we had been discussing.
I feel a lot more comfortable with it, however I'm still at the beginning of the journey. I know that we have our relationship, but we also have a relationship to share happily with others. It's not as scary as I thought it would be.
I know that I can't ever tell my parents about any of this. That's something I have understood, some secrets can't be shared. I'm just glad I have someone that I can learn with and is so supportive.
