There's a Reddit story of a man who is frustrated at his wife for decorating the inside of their fridge. She puts picture frames. dresses the herbs and places flowers in the fridge. She gets upset at him for not putting things back where they are supposed to be and it's obviously an inconvenience. However, he also admits that he rarely uses the fridge because she does the majority of the cooking and he visits the fridge to sometimes get leftovers. His major assertion is that he thinks it's stupid. He eventually tells her it's stupid and gets their son to side with him. She is so hurt, she takes everything down immediately but is different towards him.
In the comment section on Reddit, the commenters agree that he could have had an honest respectful adult conversation about it and not berate her. Yet whether Reddit or TikTok comment sections, people were still berating her. Decorating the inside of the fridge, or "fridgescaping", is apparently a sign of moral decay, not the fact that this couple lacked communication skills to sort out this trivial disagreement without berating each other.
I don't understand how this thing that brings someone joy, even though it is a minor inconvenience if you are living with others, is bringing out such intense emotions in people. Nobody is dying. I understand the husband's frustration and he has every right to be frustrated (though he could have a respectful conversation and helped her redirect the energy), but the commenters? Random people on the internet are villainizing a stranger for doing something that brings them joy. People were looking for every excuse to catastrophize this situation.
"It's unhygienic to have pictures in your fridge and dress the vegetables." That would mean the sauce and beverage bottles plus the packaging for the produce from the store are also dangerously unhygienic when you put them in your fridge? I know people stopped washing their groceries after 2021 and you know random hands touch them before they got to you. lol.
"Flowers in the fridge are dangerous because they are poisonous." As someone who loves flowers, this was heartbreaking to hear that someone believes this because most common flowers are actually harmless. A lot of flowers that are easily accessible are even edible, you can use them in your cooking and baking. Not all flowers are safe, obviously, but the person did not state what kind of flowers his partner put in the fridge but I don't believe she's stupid like everyone is trying to make her look.
At least some people were honest with themselves "It's so stupid, what is wrong with the world? We have gone mad. These social media trends are the worst."
I get it. I've lived in a communal space before and I've had arguments about the fridge that ruined a friendship for months. Was it worth it? No! Do I think about it over 5 years later? Barely. It's so trivia. It was a sign of a communication breakdown and much deeper issues though. My friend and I were both struggling with different aspects of our lives. I still believe that she constantly used me as a punching bag but I also had very bad communication skills and no boundaries. That's what I think about every day. There are ways to be assertive without being a jerk. She went on to have a one-sided beef with another "housemate" over the fridge and I went on to be a little anarchist towards the authorities in our community because of my lack of communication skills. lol.
Fridges do tell a lot about a person though. They can show when a person is trying to get their life together or maintain a balanced life. They show when a person is struggling. They can show when a person's taste changes. They can show when a person has no time to be intentional with their own nourishment. They can show when a person is able to be intentional. They can show two or more people trying to co-exist. They can show a person trying to make life a little more worth living. The only time a fridge is a sign of moral decay or the destruction of societal values is when there is a dead body in the fridge. I know society never has its priorities straight as a collective. lol.
Human behavior is complex and ever-evolving. It's sad when a person has no safe space to explore and experiment. It's sad when mishaps or misjudgments are not rectified with dignity but are rather used as an excuse to strip someone of their humanity. It's sad when people cannot compromise about an issue that's trivial.
I feel passionate about communication because it is something that is necessary in life but not many of us were taught to communicate properly. A lot of people confuse manipulation and cruelty with communication. We talk to get our way or we keep quiet to punish another person. We talk so we can "always be right" and get angry when another person reveals themselves to be a breathing, feeling, thinking, independent individual. Social media is not helping. The type of nonsense that's being passed around as relationship advice is no wonder this generation is angry, sad, and lonely.
My best friend and I were not always close, we used to be guarded towards each other despite being roommates in our early 20s. When we reconnected, we had a conversation about healing, about the unhelpful ideas that we have learned from our upbringing, and we spoke about creating better communication styles. We apologized when we felt like we were overwhelming to the other because people in the past have made us feel like burdens and we constantly reassured each other because we don't mind listening to each other. We tell each other when one needs space. I still check up on her often when she is going through a hard time. Right now I have stopped talking to many people in my life except a handful of people, especially her. She's the only person that I speak to almost every day. She is my lifeline. We get each other because we have gone through the same things. We can communicate because don't see each other as villains, we respect each other's boundaries and we genuinely care for each other's wellbeing.
I struggle with friendships as much as I struggle with relationships. Having close friendships like I have now makes me feel like I am closer to the healing that I have always dreamed of but I fear that I will never be able to replicate that type of communication with a romantic or intimate partner. I wouldn't say I have completely healed from toxic ideas on communication. I still fear being triggered by something trivial or being punished (outside of consensual pain) for being vulnerable. These fears still heavily influence how I conduct myself in a relationship and it frustrates me.
I get envious when I hear couples talk about their healthy communication. They make it look so easy then you hear how much work and compromise went into creating a healthy connection. I still think those relationships are rare in the world and they are often so unconventional that they ignite a rage in people.
