Under The Whip

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the Gorean novels and what they actually say about slavery, devotion, and desire, especially when compared to how parts of the Gorean Lifestyle sometimes get practiced or spoken about today. This is coming from my own heart, from a place of submission, reflection, and love for the philosophy as I understand it.

In the books, it is very clear that most often there is one slave for one Master. That bond matters. Many kajirae become love slaves, deeply cherished, deeply wanted, and deeply seen by their Masters. Even when the text explores darker or more controversial elements, such as Masters who genetically created slaves with deformities because they found them exotic. It still reinforces one powerful truth, every slave was unique. No two were the same. No two were desired for the same reasons. Slaves were not interchangeable objects, they were individuals, shaped by purpose, temperament, body, and spirit.

That’s why it truly troubles me when, in the Gorean Lifestyle, I hear kajirae tearing each other down. “She’s not obedient enough.” “She’s not pleasing.” “She doesn’t have this skill or that skill.” As if there is a single mold we are all supposed to fit into. As if worth is measured by a checklist instead of by presence, intention, and devotion.

The books never supported that idea. Quite the opposite. Masters celebrated their slaves. They delighted in their differences. One slave might be prized for grace, another for fire, another for softness, another for endurance. Diversity wasn’t a flaw, it was the point. It was what made ownership meaningful and desire specific.

As a kajira at heart, I believe this deeply, I do not need to be like any other slave to be valuable. And neither do you. We are not meant to mirror each other. We are meant to be ourselves, offered honestly and fully, for the Master who desires exactly what we are.

So please, do not berate another slave for not being you, for not serving the way you serve, or for walking a different path of obedience. She is not you. And honestly? Her Master likely prefers it that way.

Submission is not sameness. It is sincerity. And diversity, in all its forms, is a beautiful thing worthy of celebration.

Some quotes from the books. That either reference specific types of slaves, or how the Master's will and pleasure controls them.
For More Research - Please Read The Series!

It is a beautiful moment when the woman realizes that the man who owns her is her love master, and the man realizes that the girl he bought, looking up at him, tears in her eyes, is his love slave.
Then the only danger is that he will weaken. One must be strong with a love slave. If one truly loves her, he will be that strong. The slavery in which a love slave is kept is an unusually deep slavery. She must serve him with a perfection which would stun and startle other girls; if she should fail in any way, even in so small a way that the lapse would be overlooked in the case of another wench, or bring perhaps a mild word of reprimand, she is likely to be tied at the slave ring and whipped; there is a good reason for this; she is, you see, a love slave; no woman can be more in a man's power; and with no woman must he be stronger. Beasts of Gor Book 12 Page 236

Though any Gorean male might make me, in spite of myself, a panting, orgasmic slave in his arms, I knew it had been only he, Clitus Vitellius, whom I had truly loved, and yet loved. In his arms I had always been the most helpless. He was my love master. Slave Girl of Gor Book 11 Page 358

Lara's lips had been rich and fine, sensitive and curious, tender, eager, hungry; the lips of Vika were maddening; I recalled those lips, full and red, pouting, defiant, scornful, scarlet with a slave girl's challenge to my blood; I wondered if Vika might be a bred slave, a Passion Slave, one of those girls bred for beauty and passion over generations by the zealous owners of the great Slave Houses of Ar, for lips such as Vika's were a feature often bred into Passion Slaves; they were lips formed for the kiss of a master. Priest-Kings of Gor Book 3 Page 53

Ho-Hak's right ear twitched. His ears were unusual, very large, and with extremely long lower lobes, drawn lower still by small, heavy pendants set in them. He had been a slave, doubtless, and, doubtless, judging by the collar, and the large hands and broad back, had served on the galleys, but he had been an unusual slave, a bred exotic, doubtless originally intended by the slave maters for a destiny higher than that of galley bench.
There are various types of "exotics" bred by Gorean slavers, all of whom are to be distinguished from more normal varieties of bred slaves, such as Passion Slaves and Draft Slaves. Exotics may be bred for almost any purpose, and some of these purposes, unfortunately, seem to be little more than to produce quaint or unusual specimens. Ho-Hak may well have been one so bred.
"You are an exotic," I said to him.
Ho-Hak's ears leaned forward toward me, but he did not seem angry. He had brown hair, and brown eyes; the hair, long, was tied behind his head with a string of rence cloth. He wore a sleeveless tunic of rence cloth, like most of the rence growers.
"Yes," said Ho-Hak. "I was bred for a collector."
"I see," I said.

"I broke his neck and escaped," said Ho-Hak. "Later I was recaptured and sent to the galleys."
"And you again escaped," I said.
"In doing so," said Ho-Hak, looking at his large hands, heavy and powerful, "I killed six men." Raiders of Gor Book 6 Pages 15 - 16

Ho-Hak had been bred a slave, a degraded and distorted exotic, Raiders of Gor Book 6 Page 88

I have not mentioned exotics, incidentally, slaves bred or trained for unusual purposes. Fighting Slave of Gor Book 14 Page 164

Another slave, an exotic, bred for stripes, put more laundry beside her. Prize of Gor Book 27 Page 136

[More Quotes On Exotics and Bred Slaves, Both Male, and Female]()

"You will learn to
wear tunics, and silks, and bangles," I said. "You will be taught to kneel and move. You may be perfumed and painted. Swordsmen of Gor Book 29 Page 383

Just as, in our world, it is not uncommon to seek the advice of an interior decorator in obtaining and organizing the appointments of one's own dwelling, so, too, in the Gorean world, it is not uncommon to call in a trainer and beautician to appraise and improve a girl. Slave Girl of Gor Book 11 Page 216

Men are so vain. You should see how some of them lead naked, painted, bejeweled slaves about on leashes, put them through slave paces publicly, make them dance in the open for tarsk-bits, put them up as stakes in the dicing halls, and marketplaces, and such. Prize of Gor Book 27 Page 154

This was the day of my collaring. I was not permitted cosmetics. Captive of Gor Book 7 Page 269

How incredibly, and yet rationally and justifiably, I felt at his mercy. He was my master. He owned me. He could do whatever he wanted with me. He could trade me or sell me, or even slay me upon a whim, should he wish. I was absolutely his, his girl. Slave Girl of Gor Book 11 Page 108

I would allow Vika to share the great stone couch, it's sleeping pelts, and silken sheets. This was unusual, however, for normally the Gorean slave girl sleeps at the foot of her Masters couch, often on a straw mat with only a thin, cotton-like blanket, woven from the soft fibers of the Rep plant, to protect her from the cold. If she has not pleased her Master of late, she may be, of course, as a disciplinary measure, simply chained nude to the slave ring in the bottom of the couch, sans both the blanket and the mat. The stones of the floor are hard and the Gorean nights cold and it is a rare girl who, when unchained in the morning, does not seek more dutifully to serve her master. Priest ings of Gor Book 3 Page 67

How incredibly, and yet rationally and justifiably, I felt at his mercy. He was my master. He owned me. He could do whatever he wanted with me. He could trade me or sell me, or even slay me upon a whim, should he wish. I was absolutely his, his girl. Slave Girl of Gor Book 11 Page 108

A Norse Pagan Journey Through the Winter Solstice
December 21, 2025 - January 1, 2026

As a Norse Pagan, Yule is one of the most sacred and grounding times of the year for me. It isn’t just one night of celebration, it is twelve nights of reflection, honoring the Gods, the ancestors, the land, and ourselves as we pass through the longest darkness and welcome the slow return of the light.

I wanted to share a friendly, educational breakdown of the 12 Nights of Yule, what each night traditionally represents, and simple ways I like to observe them. You don’t need to do everything perfectly, Yule is about intention, not pressure.

Night 1 Mother Night (Mōdraniht)
Represents - The Mothers, Disir, female ancestors, lineage
**How to celebrate - **Light candles, honor your maternal line, sit quietly, journal, or make offerings to the Disir. This night is gentle and introspective.

Night 2 - Fate & the Norns
Represents - Wyrd, destiny, the threads of our lives
**How to celebrate - ** Reflect on the past year, do divination, write what you’re releasing and what you’re weaving forward.

Night 3 - Frigg & the Hearth
Represents - Home, protection, marriage, care
**How to celebrate - ** Clean your space, tend the hearth (literal or symbolic), cook something comforting, and focus on home energy.

Night 4 - Freyr
Represents - Fertility, peace, prosperity
**How to celebrate - ** Offer grains, bread, or drink. Set intentions for abundance and growth in the coming year.

Night 5 - Freyja
Represents - Love, magic, sovereignty, desire
**How to celebrate - ** Self care, glamour magic, devotion, or honoring your own power and worth.

Night 6 - Ancestors
**Represents - **Those who came before us
**How to celebrate - ** Share stories, set out food or drink, speak their names, or sit in gratitude for the lives that made yours possible.

Night 7 - The Wild Hunt (Odin)
Represents - Chaos, wisdom, transformation
**How to celebrate - ** Drumming, chanting, offerings to Odin, time outdoors, or embracing shadow work and truth.

Night 8 - Thor
**Represents - ** Protection, strength, boundaries
**How to celebrate - ** Ask for protection over your home and loved ones. This is a great night for warding and grounding.

Night 9 - Wisdom & Sacrifice
Represents - What we give to grow
**How to celebrate - ** Reflect on lessons learned, what you’ve sacrificed, and what knowledge cost you something to gain.

Night 10 - The Landvættir
**Represents - **Land spirits, nature, balance
**How to celebrate - ** Offerings to the land, water, or animals. Thank the spirits of the place you live.

Night 11 - The Returning Sun
**Represents - **Hope, rebirth, light
**How to celebrate - **Candles, joy, laughter, feasting, community. This is when celebration really blooms.

Night 12 - Oaths & New Beginnings
Represents: -Renewal, vows, the coming year
How to celebrate - Make oaths carefully. Speak intentions aloud. Close Yule with gratitude and hope.

Yule doesn’t have to be loud or elaborate. Some nights I drum and sing to Odin under the stars. Other nights I sit quietly with a candle and my thoughts. Both are sacred.

If you’re new to Norse Paganism, or just curious, I hope this helps make Yule feel a little more approachable, and a little more magical.

May your Yule be warm, your hearth protected, and your path lit as the sun slowly returns.

As a Norse Pagan, Yule is one of the most sacred and meaningful times of the year for me. It isn’t just a “holiday”, it is a season, a spiritual reset, and a reminder that even in the deepest dark, light always returns.

Yule marks the Winter Solstice, the longest night of the year. It is the turning point of the wheel, when the sun is reborn and the slow return of light begins. Spiritually, it represents death and rebirth, rest and renewal, honoring the ancestors, and trusting that growth is happening even when we cannot see it.

Traditionally, Yule isn’t just one day. In Norse practice, it often spans 12 nights, beginning on the Solstice. Each night holds its own energy, a time for reflection, intention setting, honoring the Gods, and connecting with kin, both living and dead.

For me, Yule is about slowing down. It is about sitting with the dark instead of fearing it. It is a time to honor Odin for wisdom and sacrifice, to acknowledge the strength of the Gods and Goddesses, and to thank them for walking with us through hardship and transformation. Yule reminds me that survival itself is sacred.

In my house, Yule is cozy, intentional, and deeply personal.

I decorate with evergreens, pinecones, candles, and symbols of the Norse Gods.

I light candles each night to honor the returning sun.

I keep an altar refreshed with offerings, mead, bread, apples, and written intentions.

I spend time journaling, reflecting on the year behind me and what I want to carry forward.

I honor my ancestors, speaking their names and thanking them for the strength I carry.

There is always good food, warmth, laughter, and moments of quiet reverence.

Something I still do every Yule is a tradition I shared with my Mema. We would make a big pot of hot cocoa, stirring in peppermint, then turn off most of the lights and sit quietly by the fireplace. Soft holiday music would play in the background, the tree glowing, the house fully decorated, and we would simply exist in the peace of the moment. I continue this tradition today, even though she has been gone for twenty years. It is how I honor her memory, and how I feel closest to her on the Solstice.

Some nights are celebratory. Others are soft and introspective. Both are equally sacred. Tonight I’ll likely step outside with my frankincense and my drum, singing to Odin and raising a toast in his honor. While I don’t have mead this year, I do have a very special imported beer from Bavaria that Calvin and I will share, and that feels just as meaningful. I’ll make my offerings to the Gods, then spend the rest of the evening enjoying the company of family and friends.

Yule doesn’t demand perfection. It asks for honesty, presence, and respect for the cycles of life. It teaches patience, resilience, and trust in the turning of time. And honestly? It gives me permission to rest without guilt.

So if you celebrate Yule, or are simply curious. I hope this season brings you warmth, peace, and a reminder that even the longest night gives way to dawn.

Hail Odin!

Hail the Old Gods.
Hail the returning sun.
And happy Yule to those who walk this path.

Skal!

I pride myself on mentoring people in this lifestyle. It is something I hold close to my heart, and I take it seriously. I tend to mentor one on one, quietly, intentionally, and with a lot of care.

I also want to be very clear about one boundary I keep for myself, I don’t mentor Dominants. That isn’t judgment, it is ethics, at least as I understand them. In my world, Dominants should be mentored by other Dominants, and submissives by other submissives. Power deserves to be learned from those who live it from the same side of the slash. But that’s a deeper conversation for another day.

That is my opinion. No, I will not argue it, in the comment section.

Recently, someone asked me what I like to start with when I mentor. What’s the first lesson? What do I teach right out the gate? The honest answer is, it depends. I know how much people hate that response. It is so vague.

Most of my mentoring is tailored specifically to the individual, because no two submissives are the same. I shape conversations, lessons, training ideas, and guidance around the kind of submissive you desire to be. I also say this early and often, I am not an expert. Not even close. Everything I offer is rooted in my lived experience and the education I’ve gathered along the way. I don’t pretend to know everything, and I never want to.

After we talk about consent, autonomy, bodily agency, and your rights as a human being and a submissive, there’s one thing I almost always say next.

Surround yourself with other submissives. As many as you can.

Please don’t make me your only mentor. That’s not healthy, and it is not fair to you. I can only teach what I know. For example, I am not a full time brat, so I would never claim I can fully educate someone on that path. I can offer perspective, sure, but lived experience matters.

Find submissives you admire. Find ones whose energy calls to you. Find ones who submit differently than you do. Each of us carries our own stories, wounds, joys, mistakes, and wisdom.

I like to think of it like a big, infinite buffet table.

Every submissive brings a dish. You get to sit at the table, talk, listen, learn, and taste. You can fill your plate with the things that nourish you, the flavors that feel right in your body and your heart. And the things that don’t resonate? You can simply smile and say, “Thank you,” and leave them for someone else. No guilt. No shame. No judgment!

Always take guidance with a grain of salt. Not everything will apply to you, and that is more than okay. It is healthy. What matters most is that you are happy, your partner is happy, and the dynamic you’ve negotiated together is consensual, informed, and intentional.

You don’t need to submit the way I do. You don’t need to submit the way your friends do. You don’t need to submit the way anyone else thinks you “should.”

You are not them. Your relationship is not theirs.

You are a unique and beautiful person, and that deserves to be celebrated, not corrected. So go to classes. Read books. Devour podcasts. Attend live demos. Ask questions. Listen more than you speak. And when possible, experience things in consensual, risk aware ways. Be informed, be cautious, and be gentle with yourself, because yes, sometimes shit happens, and sometimes we get hurt. Growth isn’t sterile. Learning isn’t always pretty.

But you are allowed to learn. You are allowed to explore. And you are allowed to become the submissive that feels most true to you.

Today, while I was playing a video game with a dear friend of mine, our conversation drifted into something heavier. She was sharing about a few men who had been messaging her, hoping to get to know her, maybe find something deeper, possibly even a dynamic. One of those conversations took a turn that made my stomach drop.

This man admitted that his last submissive ghosted him. As he explained further, he casually mentioned that she had been married and that her husband had no idea she was involved in a power exchange.

Honestly? That alone told me everything I needed to know about why he was likely ghosted.

But my friend didn’t stop there. She asked if he knew the woman was married at the time. He said yes. She then asked why he was okay engaging with her, knowing she was lying to her partner. His response was that it wasn’t his responsibility as a man to make sure a husband wasn’t being cheated on.

And just… ew.

That response made my skin crawl. What bothers me most isn’t just that this behavior exists, it is that it is often brushed off, excused, or even normalized in kink spaces. I know there are people who claim that cheating is their kink. I will die on this hill when I say this clearly and loudly, cheating on your partner is not a kink. It never has been and never will be. Violating someone’s Consent is not erotic. It is not edgy. It is not part of ethical non-monogamy.

It is harm.

I cannot be around people who lack integrity, honor, and honesty. I cannot build friendships, let alone dynamics or play, with people who are unwilling to live authentically and ethically. Cheating is not a neutral act. It causes long term damage, trust issues, self worth wounds, lingering doubt, and pretending otherwise is willful ignorance.

And here’s the part that disturbs me even more, anyone who knowingly accepts a partner who is already lying to someone else is showing me exactly how unsafe they are. If you are willing to participate in deception, you are not trustworthy. Full stop. If you will betray someone who shares a life with you, you will betray me too. I am not interested in relationships, friendships or power exchanges built on rot.

These are my values. These are my boundaries. You are free to live however you choose, but live it far away from me. If you choose to cheat, to deceive, to cause harm and call it kink, you have already disqualified yourself from my circle, my trust, and my respect.

Dominance, Submission, power exchange, and kink demand more integrity, not less. They demand accountability, consent, and honor. Anything else is cowardice dressed up.

And I will never kneel at the feet of dishonor.

Shared spaces in the kink community are a privilege, not a right.

They exist so we can come together, across dynamics, identities, structures, and lived experiences, to learn, connect, support, laugh, vent, heal, and sometimes just breathe in the presence of people who get it. These spaces are not created so someone can show up, scan the room, decide they don’t approve of the people in it, and then take that judgment elsewhere to belittle, mock, or publicly berate them online.

That behavior is unacceptable. Full stop.

If you attend a shared space and see people living their lives, practicing their dynamics, or expressing their submission or Dominance differently than you do, that does not give you permission to attack them. Just because something isn’t your way does not make it wrong. It simply makes it different.

Here’s the part some people seem to struggle with: no one else’s dynamic affects yours if you are not part of it. Their relationship does not weaken yours. Their structure does not invalidate yours. Their expression does not diminish your authority, submission, devotion, or identity in any way.

And if you claim that someone else’s dynamic “influences” you? That is not their problem. That is a you problem.

Shared spaces are not echo chambers meant to mirror your personal beliefs. They are community spaces. That means diversity. That means differences. That means seeing people who don’t do things the way you do, and learning to sit with that without lashing out.

Let me be extremely clear about my own boundaries.

People who show up to shared spaces, observe others, and then choose to judge, ridicule, or attack them, publicly or privately, are not welcome in any space I host. Ever!

The spaces I create are protected intentionally. I consider it a sacred duty to safeguard the people in our community, especially those who are vulnerable, learning, healing, or finding their voice. My responsibility is not to appease closed minded individuals. My responsibility is to maintain spaces that are safe, respectful, and free from judgment and harassment.

If you are so rigid in your thinking that you cannot coexist with people who practice kink, power exchange, or relationships differently than you do, then the work is yours to do. Maturity means recognizing that your way is not the only way. Growth means educating yourself instead of attacking others. Wisdom means understanding that community requires tolerance, humility, and respect.

This community is wide. It is layered. It is complex. And it is not built to cater to anyone’s ego.

So here is my firm and final stance, If you cannot show up with respect, openness, and basic human decency, you do not belong in my spaces. I will always choose to protect my community over indulging judgment, cruelty, or intellectual laziness.

We are not required to be the same.

We are required to be respectful.

And that is a boundary I will continue to enforce, without apology.

A Conversation Worth Having

A few weeks ago, a friend and I were talking about something we saw on a BDSM/kink forum. An 18 year old had joined and posted an introduction listing practically every kink and fetish from A–Z.

At first, my reaction was simply, “Everyone starts somewhere.” New people are allowed to be excited, curious, and unsure. That’s part of the journey.

But both of us still felt a tug of concern. At that age, most people haven’t had the time or experience to research all those areas, let alone understand the safety, consent education, or nuance behind them. Frenzy is a real thing as well.

Then we saw the replies.

Not from peers close to her age, but from men 30, 40, even 50 years older, immediately flirting, trying to “guide” her, or pulling for her attention. Instant red flags. Instant predatory energy.

And let me be clear: I am not shaming age gaps. Preferences exist on all sides. Consensual relationships with age differences can absolutely be healthy.

But what raised concern was the pattern something many of us have seen too often. When I came into the lifestyle at 19, the men interested in me were rarely my age. And I didn’t know better yet. Looking back, I wish I’d had someone to teach me safely, to protect me, and to tell me what red flags I wasn’t old enough to recognize.

A quote I once heard in a class came back to me,

“My existence does not represent a hardship for you.” - Miki_Rei*

That young woman’s presence doesn’t harm me. She isn’t a problem. She isn’t disrupting my kink life or my dynamics. Getting angry at her would be pointless, and honestly unwarranted.

The real issue is the people who wait for newcomers because they know the newcomers don’t yet understand vetting, negotiation, boundaries, informed consent, or what ethical power exchange requires.

And realistically, many brand new 18–19 year olds don’t know those things yet.

That’s exactly why predators target them.

These individuals swoop in under the guise of “teaching” or “guiding,” but the majority are not acting in good faith. Many are manipulative, coercive, or outright abusive. I’m not speaking in generalities, I’m speaking from personal experience. Before meeting my Master Damon, I had more encounters like this than I want to admit, and yes, I fell for a few.

One so bad it left me in debt. The other so bad it left me ina coma for three weeks.

Now, let me also say this, I love men. I love men who are ethical, honorable, grounded, and capable of the dark and delicious intensity that kink can offer. The surrender to such men is intoxicating.

But anyone, man or woman, who uses kink as a hunting ground for inexperienced people is a danger to our community.

And it is not just male Dominants. I’ve seen experienced submissive women manipulate new, eager men who want to learn how to be Dominants. I’ve watched subs play emotional or sexual games with them, use them, then leave them confused or damaged.

For people like this, it is almost a sport,
“Take what I want, ruin fast, vanish clean.”

And yes, that does create hardship for the rest of us.

We’re trying to build a community where kink is understood as consensual, ethical, and empowering. A place where we can be ourselves without being labeled abusive, dangerous, or deviant. A place where we teach the world that BDSM isn’t coercion, it is enthusiastic, informed consent. We cannot build that while allowing this behavior to thrive in the shadows.

It is no surprise communities gatekeep. It is no surprise play parties are intensely vetted. It is no surprise mistakes that should be teachable moments become exile level rumors. People are scared. And they have reason to be.

What we truly need is accountability and community support:
Dominants checking other Dominants when they misuse power
Submissives checking other submissives who manipulate new partners
Doms supporting Doms

Subs supporting subs
Peer groups that uplift, teach, and protect rather than tear down
Mentorship built on ethics, not ego
Preferences aren’t the problem. Age gaps aren’t the problem.
Newcomers aren’t the problem.

Choosing someone because they lack knowledge and are easier to manipulate is not a preference.

It is abuse. And that IS the problem!

I’m absolutely thrilled about how amazing our Subby Hotline turnout was tonight! We made so many new friends and had such a rich, heartfelt conversation. Tonight’s topic was *Staying in Your Submissive Headspace* and exploring ways our Dominants can support us in that space. The perspectives and ideas shared were incredible.

Huge love and gratitude to my two besties, Cyn and Tova, for helping make it all happen and to everyone who showed up and contributed. I adore you all so much.

Eeeep! Tomorrow’s the Big Day!

I can hardly sit still right now, our first ever Subby Hotline is happening tomorrow! I’m beyond excited because our very first topic is one that’s close to so many hearts: how difficult it can be to be a submissive.

We’ve got some amazing discussion questions lined up, and after today’s rehearsal, I’m feeling so confident that everything is going to flow beautifully. This isn’t just another chat, it’s the beginning of something real, something healing, and something that connects subs of all types across the world.

I can’t even begin to describe how much I love this community. You’ve all made this dream come to life, and I’m endlessly grateful. Huge love and thanks to my Masters and to the House of Koch for supporting me and letting this little idea grow into something so powerful.

Honestly? I feel like a kid at Yule, giddy, sparkly, and full of joy. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough!