For anyone in a dynamic where open communication really matters. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how easy it is to expect people, especially those close to us, to just know what we’re feeling. But here’s the truth, they don’t.
For years, I made the mistake of assuming my Masters could read my mind when something was bothering me. Maybe you can relate. I thought, "If I just let it slide or if I give a little hint, they’ll understand. I shouldn’t have to spell it out." But guess what? It never worked out that way. In fact, it only made things worse.
Here’s what I learned the hard way: If something is bothering you, say something. Don’t expect anyone to be able to guess what’s going on in your head, no matter how close you are or how well you think they know you.
In my past experiences, I found myself holding onto little frustrations, thinking that maybe my Masters would pick up on my mood and know something was off. Maybe I’d hope for some sort of mind reading magic to happen. Spoiler alert: It never did. Instead, it created a cycle of frustration. I’d be upset, but never communicated that properly, and as a result, we’d both end up confused and disconnected.
What I realized is that those unresolved moments only built up into resentment. Little things I didn’t address turned into big issues down the line. It is like letting a small crack in the foundation of your house go unchecked. It might be tiny at first, but eventually, it weakens everything.
What makes any dynamic, especially a M/s one, thrive is transparency. It might feel intimidating at first to be open and honest about what's bothering you, but in my experience, it is the only way to keep things running smoothly.
It doesn’t matter if you’re upset about something big or small. Communicating your feelings is crucial. If something’s bothering you, speak up. Not in a way that’s accusatory or angry, but in a calm, clear manner. Be honest, but respectful. A simple, “Hey, something’s on my mind and I want to talk about it,” can go a long way.
I’ve learned that being direct isn’t disrespectful. In fact, it shows a level of care for the relationship. We’re not mind readers. We’re humans who need clarity and understanding to nurture trust and affection. And when you're transparent about your feelings, it builds that trust, because at the end of the day, being open is the ultimate act of respect.
Now, I’m not saying that you should just throw all your feelings out there without consideration for the other person’s perspective. It is all about how you communicate. Tone, timing, and intention matter.
When something is bothering you, instead of holding it in or throwing it out there in the heat of the moment, take a step back and think. Approach the conversation with a spirit of collaboration rather than confrontation. It is not about “you did this” or “you made me feel this way.” It is about saying, “Here’s what I’m feeling and I need us to work through this together.”
I’ve learned to be honest about what’s on my mind without letting it turn into an attack. It is much easier to resolve issues when I speak respectfully and come from a place of care, and have processed how I feel.
If I’m upset about something, it doesn’t help to bottle it up. If I don’t express myself, how can I expect the other person to know how to address it? Whether it is a small issue or something bigger, leaving it unspoken only creates distance. But when I open up about it, we can work through it as a team, as partners.
In the end, it is about creating a dynamic where all people feel heard and valued. I’ve found that, more often than not, when I communicate what’s bothering me in a healthy, direct way, it not only brings us closer, but it strengthens our relationship.
So, if something’s bothering you, don’t assume they know. Don’t let it fester. Speak up, be honest, and do it with respect. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but the results are always worth it. Transparency and good communication are the foundation of any strong relationship. Trust me, it will make everything smoother and more fulfilling in the long run.
