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Under The Whip

A place where a humble blind service submissive can calm her mind and clear out the corners with her thoughts, opinions, stories, experiences, and tribulations.
1 month ago. December 2, 2024 at 2:27 AM

"Nor dare I question with my jealous thought
Where you may be, or your affairs suppose,
But, like a sad slave, stay and think of naught" Sonnet 57, Shakespeare

So for todays submissive advent calendar activity. We had to read this sonnet and really think upon it. How does this sonnet make us feel?

Of course it is always beautiful to me to see the words from history written from past authors and poets. The love of the servant, the devoted slave can be intercepted in so many different ways. Was it the love of a citizen to their sovereign? A loving wife to her husband? A loyal and obedient religious servant to their God?

Honestly I like this sonnet. I chose the lines above for my first Advent activity because I think jealousy plays a massive role in D/s. Especially in my own personal dynamic.

To me the way it reads is that I should never allow a jealous thought to cross my mind. That it doesnt matter where my Masters go, or what they are doing. I have NOTHING to be jealous over.

Do not be the sad slave, Ava. For the sad slave is miserable. The sad slave is lonely. The sad slave sees only the negative. The sad slave sees and feels only jealousy, and hatred.

For a long time I was jealous. Especially when we became a poly relationship/dynamic. I thought I was in fact losing my Master Damon, but why did I think this way?

Honestly I should have looked at it in a positive light. I wasnt losing anything or anyone. In fact I was gaining another Master. Another play partner. Another confidant. I gained another loving protector. I gained a partner to help my Master with the stress he deals with. I gained a friend and a man who was offering guidance.

I do believe jealousy emotions just masks fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of the changes coming around the corner. Fear of the loss of something or someone you hold so dear. Jealousy makes us human, and it can be humbling. It can also be the cause for destruction.

Do I still have moments of jealousy? Absolutely. However this little snippet from the sonnet will stick with me now. I can use it as a mantra. A reminder that I have nothing to be jealous of.

I have nothing to question my Masters on when I am feeling this way. To act in fear, to question, to doubt because I am behaving as a sad jealous slave is harmful to me, and to them. It would make me doubt them. It would make me question the character of them.

What right do I have to do that?

I chose them just as much as they chose me. Perhaps these jealous thoughts are not based on fear for anything of them, but instead of myself. Perhaps they spread like a wildfire in my own thoughts because of my insecurities? Moreso they spread because I do not trust myself fully.

What kind of slave would I be to lash out in my emotions like this. Unwarranted because they went to the grocery store? Unwarranted because they wanted to go do something without me. It doesnt make me any less theirs. It doesnt make them love me any less. It doesnt make them not choose me as their beautiful obedient slave girl.

William knew what he was writing. Jealousy is a killer. I will remember these words and hold them so close to my heart.

When jealousy rears its ugly head again. I will hold these words close. I have no desire to question my Masters because of my jealousy. I have No desire to be that sad slave alone in misery.

I will celebrate the joy and love I have for my Masters. I make this vow to myself today.


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