“Real isn’t how you are made,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘It’s a thing that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.’
‘Does it hurt?’ asked the Rabbit.
‘Sometimes,’ said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful.
‘When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.’
‘Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,’ he asked, ‘or bit bybit?’
‘It doesn’t happen all at once,’ said the Skin Horse. ‘You become. It takes a long time. That’s why it doesn’t happen often to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out
and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don’t matter
at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t
understand.” ― Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit
I have been in the lifestyle since 2003. However I did not take it at all seriously until 2014. I had many potential dominants within those 11 years. I had been on and off again with 2 of them. However we all know when a submissive is not taking it seriously it is NEVER their fault right? It is always now a FAKE dom situation.
We know that when the submissive doesnt get their way, and they stomp their foot and the master puts his foot down, then the submissive can now go call them a fake dom and storm off in a righteous manner.
I mean I did that so often and I was validated by so many people. That what I did was right and they shouldn't have treated me that way and yada yada keep just being who I am and doing these things. Instead of telling me I was a little shit and I was not being obedient and pleasing.
I don't know how it happened but in 2014 I ended up meeting someone named Sir Seven. I had just ended a dynamic with someone after I was hurt in real life. I was on the verge of leaving BDSM, and the lifestyle. He took me under his wing and mentored me. He was direct, and was not into just telling me what I wanted to hear. He told me the truth and I think this was the right time for me. I was completely receptive and I was emotionally growing.
Honestly Seven told me he never though I would be able to be a submissive because my personality is so dominant. I wont lie it is not easy all the time for me. I just make it look easy but really it is hard for me to shut my mouth. Which is the number one thing that makes seems to get me into trouble, or makes it hard for people to understand me. I am very blunt, direct and honestly need to have tact beaten into me.
I am honestly not sure if Seven was saying that becuase hefelt it was true, or if he was trying to bring out my stubborn side which would prove him wrong. Either way I graduated from his mentoring program. I ended up staying at his house as a submissive there and assisted in training other submissives. I was used a demo submissive for dominants to practice with and it was a really good time in my life for me.
Seven taught me how to vette people. He taught me that my needs are the most important thing and are not negotiable. He was the first dominant that told me I could in fact say NO to a dominant and call and use a safe word. I had so many good moments with him and these lovely people. It was the main turning point in my life and my submission.
I do not think that I would be where I am today without his guidance. Do I know everything in the world about BDSM? Absolutely not. I can go to BDSM 101 classes still and learn something new.
I do believe that because Seven told me the truth no matter how hurtful it might have been, he helped me change for the better and I think he prepared me so well to be apart of a healthy dynamic and who would have thought an entire year later I met my current master Damon. He and I have officially been together 9 years. Six years into that dynamic we opened up and Calvin arrived.
None of this would have ever been possible without Sir Seven taking a chance on me.